This is not about beastiality.Today’s theme: Fuck tha police!Remember Brett Darrow? He was the nerd that hooked a camera up in his car and got a police sergeant fired for threatening to “come up with reasons” to put Darrow in jail.Apparently, this kid pissed off a lot of cops. He now has videos of cops staking out his home and has definitely noticed more police presence on his dead-end street since the incident. This strikes me as harassment, but hey, what’s wrong with fucking with a kid who got the sergeant fired, right? He has also received death threats and there are some pretty scary topics posted about him on St. Louis’s CopTalk message boards (used only by cops).If I were Brett Darrow, I would leave the country, or at least the state. It’s inevitable that an “accident” is going to happen to him sooner or later for blowing this whole ordeal out of proportion.Let’s review:Today’s theme… Fuck tha police!Today’s lesson… Don’t fuck with tha police.

George Clooney and girlfriend Sarah “I like fucking older men” Larson were involved in a minor motorcycle accident this week.George, best known for his line of expensive butt plugs, was trying to go around some dumbass making a turn from the wrong lane when, apparently, George forgot how to turn his bike and drove the Harley into a curb throwing them both on the sidewalk.Clooney’s woman was already injured previously and suffered no further damage except shame. Her life flashed before her eyes and she saw herself in 5 years with George… and his pacemaker. They’ll be finished in a week.George got a fractured rib that was probably caused the night before during sex. Arthritis is a bitch.”I told that bitch I wanted pasta!” - George Clooney

Good ol’ Kiefer Sutherland. He was my favorite vampire in Lost Boys. This week, he accomplished his 4th DUI - except this time he didn’t have any guns on him like in ‘89. Either way, he’s probably going to jail.The older he gets, the gayer he looks.I wish I could have Kiefer as a cellmate. Think of how awesome that would be.Done thinking about it? Good.Apparently, he swerved after spilling a Smirnoff Ice in his lap which lead to the arrest.Cop: “Do you have any idea why I pulled you over, Donald Sutherland’s son?Kiefer: “(drunken mumbling) I smilled my Shmeernoff?”Cop: “That, and you were also showing your penis way too much at the bar and giving blowjobs in the bathroom. You’re a menace. I’m takin’ you in.”Kiefer: “I was in Losht Boys!”

Being a cop must really be a pain in the ass these days.Back in the good ol’ days, an officer could fuck you up and throw your ass in jail and there wasn’t really much you could do about it until you saw a judge the next morning. I hadn’t really heard about police brutality until Malice King and Rodney Green got beat up for being black, but that was racially motivated. Cops have been getting the best of us since the first pig found a shiny badge in the mud and stuck it on his fat ass.Nowadays, spoiled college kids like Brett Darrow have mounted camcorders inside their cars so they can taunt officers and then get them fired for dropping the F-bomb a few times.Fast forward to about 1:45 into the video and let the hilarity ensue.Hahaha.”You wanna try me, young boy?!” That sounds like a child molester’s pickup line. The simple solution for the officer would’ve been to grab the tape out of the kid’s camcorder, taser the little fucker for talking back, put his body in the trunk of his own car and then drive it into a river. Find a hobo to frame for the crime and have your other corrupt ass cop friends to cover for you. Classic!Brett Doucho and Officer Bearclaw

Andrew Meyer is a University of Florida goofball who got tasered by the police last week. I’ve been reading about how people are outraged by this incident and it’s just so funny to me how bitchy people can be sometimes.”Don’t tase me, bro!”Hahahaha. That’s how you respect a police officer. Listen, I don’t care how right you think you are, if the police tell you to cooperate, you fucking do it or get the taser.I realize now that he was trying to reenact a scene from the Holy Grail.I don’t know why people are so upset about this. Contemplate this for a moment.Being uncooperative with the police = Resisting.Resisting = Tasered.Tasering = Classic entertainment lol.

First thing is first. On a completely serious note:On Friday, September 14th 2007, my cousin Mike was killed in a 3-wheeler accident. This is a terrible tragedy for my family. It’s never good when someone dies unexpectedly, but it’s even worse when an awesome, talented guy like Mike gets killed. He was 34 years old.Michael SalamonRest in peace, Mike.And now…For those of you who play video games, Halo 3 is out. Awesome. I have a feeling it will be exactly like Halo 2, which was just like Halo 1, but with a worse ending. I don’t really like Halo because I know a lot of kids who play it and think they are soooo cool. Fuck you, Halo fans!Oh…I know I promised something good.I just saved 15% on my car insurance by switching to Geico.

Hello children.It’s been a little bit since my last update. It’s hard to complain about having no visitors when I don’t have anything worthwhile to look at, right?Eh..There’s a couple of things I wanted to talk about.Ohhh Britney Spears. I wish you never met K-Fed. It’s sad knowing that a girl that was watched and wanked off to more than anyone in recent history has turned into the epitome of sick. When I heard she was opening the VMAs this year, I was sadly hopeful that she would show up restored to her former glory.In reality, she had all the former glory of a retired pornstar with nine kids. I’d like to know how someone can have greasy hair extensions without actually rubbing grease in them. She looks like half the girls I went to highschool with. She looked like she hitchhiked to the VMAs from Alaska and was kicked out of the car while it was driving past the red carpet at 55 mph. Look for yourself, but please put on your pity hat first because otherwise you will be laughing hysterically and certain people will call you insensitive.Edit: Wow.. Viacomm pulled the video from YouTube. Fuck you Viacomm! Just close your eyes now and imagine a hugely famous pop star whose life has fallen to shambles after marrying a douchebag and having two ugly kids and she has just been asked to perform after years of silence from her. That’s how it looked.I’m positive now that MTV was not doing this as a favor to Britney. I think they knew how terrible it was going to be and that everyone would come to watch this trainwreck of a performance. It must take talent to make it from the A-List to the C-Word in such a short time.Has anyone seen those photos of her crotch? There’s gotta be a few thousand on the web right now, since she doesn’t seem to know what the word “obscene” means anymore.It’s too bad the British Broadcasting Channel exists already, because Britney shows her snatch of so much, she could have her own BBC and call it Britney’s Busted Clam or Britney’s Beef Curtains. Her vagina looks like a raw meatloaf was pounded on by a barbed wire baseball bat. At first, I couldn’t tell if it was an autopsy photo of someone hit by a train, or a macro shot of someone cooking huge slices of bacon and hair. Britney, for letting us all see your fur burger which looks like a baby horse fell out of it, you deserve all of this criticism. You make me feel like I spent my teenage years masturbating to images of roadkill. Did that thing ever look normal? Ugh. I just got goosebumps thinking about it. I’d rather not defile my website with pictures of her mangina, so I won’t. Just close your eyes and imagine beating a giant squid with a sledgehammer - that’s what it looks like.Some people actually still like her… no… love her. I just like making fun of her.Chris Crocker, this extremely dramatic gay feller, just put out a video bashing America (and probably everyone else) for hating on Britney Spears. In her defense, she is allowed to be really fucked up on national television and not get shit for it because she’s going through a bit of a “rough time.” I’ve had rough times before and even in my lowest points in life, I still managed to avoid things like going out in public without underwear and my balls hanging out.I like Chris Crocker though. I have laughed upwards around 45 seconds at some of his other videos. I believe he’s truly upset in this rant about how Britney deserves more respect.Onto the world’s oldest profession - MILKMEN!For about a week now, I’ve been wanting to eat cereal but I’ve been too lazy to go to the store to get milk. I tried eating Fruity Pebbles with water and I do not recommend it. I got to wondering if milkmen are around anymore. It makes sense to me because there’s so many stray cats and vermin in my neighborhood, that any milk left out for longer than five minutes would bring the zoo to your doorstep. I just watch this animation by David Firth instead and think about how great it would be to have some milk from the milkman’s wife’s tits.Sign the guestbook please.