Hello everyone. I’ve been sick for the past couple of days, but I’m back in action. I came across a rather… weird story. Jeanette Sliwinski was a smokin’ hot ex-model for Fredericks of Hollywood and other various clothing companies. She was also a total fucking lunatic. She was recently sentenced for a crime that she accidentally committed about 2 years ago – MURDER.Daddy likes!I know what you’re thinking: “How could this lovely girl murder anyone?” Well, that’s where the crazy bitch part comes in. One day, Jeanette was on her way to a psychiatrist after a fight with her mom. All of a sudden, the idea of suicide struck her.Jeanette: “Hey, I should like totally like… kill myself! Hmm.. what’s the most careless way I could do it. I know! I’ll like totally smash my car full speed into someone else’s car.”Good thinking Jeanette! What’s the worst that could happen? She survived the crash, but the 3 passengers in the car she hit were killed instantly.It’s not quite November yet, but I award Jeanette Slutzinski the Sidecarsally.com Asshole of the Month Award!

Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner made history this week as she was recently elected president of Argentina. This is the first time in Argentina’s history that a woman has been elected president.WTF, I think that’s my 8th grade Spanish teacher. Mrs. Lopez!Some people call her the Latin Hillary. I think since she became president before Mrs. Clinton, Hillary should be called the American Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner. I doubt that would ever catch on though. Plus, this chick is way hotter than Hillary.Either way, I’d like to congratulate Kirchner on being the new president of this…Ahhh… just like the movies. Wait, I’ve never seen a movie about Argentina.From downtown Buenos Aries, it’s only a short hike to the Argentinian White House.Almost there… just on the other side of the third mountain back!

Hey! The Red Sox swept the Rockies in the World Series. It was their first time sweeping a team for the championship since 1918.”Wooo!!! Yayyy!!! We fucking won!”Guess what?Except for you, Boston.

Being so close to Halloween, I thought I’d look up some pictures of “real” ghosts and dispel some of the myths with simple explanations.There is a guy standing behind him, not a ghost.See how easy it is? I mean… I love the idea of ghosts and shit but come on. That’s not a fucking ghost. On to the next one…This is a picture of an old burned out building. There’s a little girl in the picture. She’s probably just there looking for old dolls and shit. Little girls do weird things some time – end of story. Next one…That’s Jigsaw from the Saw movies. NEXT!This one was tough, but under closer inspection, it’s obvious that the face behind the man is just some dude back there grabbing his ass.If anyone believes differently about any of these pictures, you’re wrong, but feel free to comment below.

It’s official! California’s #1 cash crop is marijuana according to recent findings. Fuck grapes and cabbages and whatever else they grow over there – move over for the closet grower. Grandma just thinks they’re flowers.Police are saying that the number of busts has increased dramatically since 9/11. I’m wondering what 9/11 has to do with the influx of growing pot. Is it that people are more nervous about terrorism and they feel the need to kick back and smoke? Maybe it’s the tighter border control that’s pushing people towards growing it themselves. Furthermore, where is all this tax money going when it’s supposed to be supporting the “war” on drugs? Let’s ask the president:Nevermind, he’s high too.Well shit, if everyone is smoking it and growing it, we should totally just legalize it. I dream of a day where everyone can smoke freely outside, at work, in elementary schools, church, funerals, or anywhere we want to. The only problem is, I think most people would just chill at home and do nothing.”I’ll get to it in a minute!”