Remember when you were a kid and you were like, “Mannn, I wish I could find a toy made with date rape drugs!”

No?

OK, maybe that was just me, but anyway…

A popular new toy, Aqua Dots was massively recalled after a bunch of kids started eating them and going into comas. You aren’t supposed to eat Aqua Dots to begin with, but we all know kids do stupid shit sometimes.

“Yay, I peed in the pool!”

As it turns out, Aqua Dots – when metabolized by the human body – produce the drug GHB (also known as the date rape drug). Was this an accident, or did some mad scientist do it on purpose so a bunch of little kids would be running around trying to bone each other?

Ewww.

I don’t know what the commotion is all about. I can think of a dozen other things that are much more harmful for kids to eat. To name a few: Bleach, acid, and razor blades.

Forget about the little kids – I wanna try some fucking Aqua Dots and rape myself!