Birthday Countdown
posted on November 13th, 2007 by Dustin at 5:29 pm (EST) with 7 Comments
First of all, I just would like to give a big “FUCK YOU!” to the Secretary of State for being closed yesterday for Veteran’s Day. I don’t see how me getting my tabs renewed has anything to do with veterans.
As you should be well aware, tomorrow is my birthday. Birthdays make me horny for some reason.
One more day 
Since so many people love me because I’m awesome, I thought it would be a good idea to compose a birthday wish list. I think it would be great if I received one or all of the following items:
- A Unicorn – I watched Legend a couple weeks ago and I really need one of these magical animals.
- Military Tank – I’m sick of road construction everywhere plus I got a few things that need blowed up.
- Bionic Arms or Legs – I want to be able to either run like a cheetah or crush people into little pieces.
- Money – Several thousand $100 bills in a nice briefcase would be fine.
- A Gun – To protect my money.
- A Parachute – Just in case I ever need one.
- New Shoes – Preferably something comfortable and work-safe (not high heels).
- A Personal Midget – To give me advice about life and dance for me when I’m bored.
Since most of these items are ridiculously expensive – except for the parachute and shoes – if you’re feeling gracious, you can donate to my birthday fund by clicking the link below. Sidecarsally.com has almost 5000 hits, which is crazy. I really appreciate everyone who visits. I wish I could give you all cupcakes or something, but I’m out of eggs.
7 Comments - Leave One!
Comments
Comment from Jeff
Time November 13, 2007 at 6:45 pm
Fuck birthdays!!! Still love ya though D!!! Robot legs… what are you the fuck from grandmas boy???
Comment from davin
Time November 13, 2007 at 7:27 pm
i'm thinking about getting metal legs… it's a risky operation, but it'll be worth it.
Comment from bkwards
Time November 13, 2007 at 8:13 pm
Dont think you're better than a pair of high heels… they'll serve greatly for fending off foes as well. One blow to the head or eye socket will prove any point ever needed to be made. I didnt get you any of those things anyways… I got you this: It happens to serve TWO purposes, toasting things, and ramming you. <img src="http://www.xxx-sextoys.net/uimg/vibrators/traditional/love-machine-1s.jpg">
Comment from caitlin
Time November 13, 2007 at 8:57 pm
i got you a baby labradoodle named Elmer.
Comment from Crystal
Time November 14, 2007 at 11:10 pm
Going over the list I couldnt help but notice MSN wasnt up there…so, I will try my best to give you what you have asked for… enjoy! First on your list… 1. http://a-unicorn-giggle.funnypart.com/ 2. A tank… now this is what I think you would do with a tank..I can see it now.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDYU-uKo1N8 3. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UpOdZB0EPs0 … Im sure this might give you some inspiration.. 4.Now I saved my monies and came up with this much… http://images.inmagine.com/img/brandxpictures/x022/bxp27828.jpg But on my way to bring it to you I was jumped by http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wGXB8ZwjS8k … if you look closely in the background is my briefcase.. 
Maybe I can catch the little fucker and he can be your PERSONAL midget. 5. Thinking I was going to be able to bring you gift number four.. I started to campaign for you americans to have Al Gore run again so you can carry this… to protect your monies, and also keep that midget fucker from escaping… http://www.lesjones.com/www/images/posts/algore_regis.jpg 6. I got you the parachute but got this guy to test it out for me first… safety first after all… GOOD thing too.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YziFeaukVeY 7. Saw these and they screamed your name.. http://www.shoewawa.com/velcro%20urban%20outfitters.bmp So their you have it Mr.Fogie, I mean Fox.. I hope these put a smile on your face. However, I still believe msn is the best choice… haha.. :tongue:
Comment from dave
Time March 17, 2008 at 10:08 pm
I know this is late, but I think its fucking HILARIOUS that you actually have a donations page. HAAHAAA!!
Comment from seymour budts
Time November 13, 2007 at 6:24 pm
Make e-cupcakes. And fill them with death. :tongue: