Today’s post is a history lesson about why November 14th is a great day. Exactly 24 years ago today a great man was born. He would grow up to have a kickass beard with shades of auburn, blonde, and dark brown. That man is me. Fuck yeah.

OK, enough of the joking around – it’s time to learn some shit.

November 14th – Events

This is actually kind of depressing. Most of the major historical events that happened on November 14th have to deal with wars or murders. However, I did find out that Czechoslovakia became a republic on this day. They got to change their country’s name to the “Czech Republic” meanwhile, the other part of the country was left to suffer as “Slovakia”… that’s just boring.

This country is shaped like a…. shit, I don’t even know.

In 1991, on my birthday, a disgruntled ex-postal worker went into the Royal Oak Post Office a couple miles from my house and blew away four people before blowing his own head off. This incident made the term “going postal on your ass” popular. I still use that term whenever someone tries to eat my Butterfinger.

The rest of the shit that happened on November 14th would bore the hell out of you, so I will continue on to interesting people that share my birthday.

November 14th – Famous Births

Me (1983) – The reason you are reading this ridiculous shit.

Claude Monet (1840) – He painted amazing pictures of extremely boring shit. Twigs, flowers, women, kids… ughhhhh. But they look nice.

Prince Charles (1948) – The prince of Wales. What an honor. What an ugly son of a bitch. Rumor has it, he has 3 testicles.

Condoleezza Rice (1954) – US Secretary of State and full-time horse-tooth granny. Go Condy!

Yanni (1954) – Yeah that’s right. Swedish piano sensationalist sexbomb Yanni!

So there you have it. November 14th. Probably the single most important day in history. Enjoy my birthday – I know I will.