If you don’t know who Tila Tequila is, then you probably aren’t on myspace. She also has a reality show on MTV where the lucky winner gets to hook up with her and make sweet beautiful babies. The restraining order against me prevented me from auditioning for the show. Since when is mailing a person a lock of your pubes grounds for a PPO!?Mmm… slut sauce. I love you Tila.A 19 year old kid from Washington recently got into a heap of shit for beating up a cop. His reason: “You took my nunchucks, and I’m pissed off that Tila Tequila hasn’t responded to any of my e-mails.”This isn’t a joke.The kid got into trouble for shoplifting, and when the cops searched his car and took his nunchucks, he got pissed and punched the cop in the face a few times. You never take a ninja’s chucks.Looks like two black dildos chained together. Ninja porn.The kid got his ass kicked by the officer that he hit and he was tasered as well. I love tasers.There’s only two conditions where it’s OK to strike an officer: 1) You are crazy. 2) You’re Chuck Norris.Judging from the circumstances, I think the kid was crazy, but also thought he actually was Chuck Norris. Hopefully he knows better now.