Britney Spears needs to have her uterus removed, burned, and then her vagina sealed up forever. According to the newest InTouch magazine, the slutty popstar is pregnant again. Any surprise that it’s from an alleged one night stand? Nope.

Wasn’t it only a week ago that she was falling down outside of clubs and showing her snatch to the paparazzi? I remember it clearly – it looked like chewed up bubblegum. Ewww.

It shocks me that a millionaire can’t spend $20 a month on birth control. I’m not concerned for Britney though because she has shown herself to be a very good mother, no matter what the courts, paparazzi, websites, magazines, and all of her friends say.

I’m more concerned for the sick fuck that actually hooked up with her. I just hope he was closing his eyes and replaying the “Baby One More Time” music video in his head.

“Gimme the keys ya’ll, I’m fiiiiiine.”