If the stupid shit kids are doing these days is a glimpse of what our future is going to be like, then kill me now because I don’t even want to see the next 20 years.

On Wednesday in New York, a couple of 14 year old brainiacs learned what it’s like to be fucked by the long dick of the law when they decided to e-mail Homeland Security a death threat against our president.

Three hours later, federal agents swooped in on the school and quickly found the kids responsible and arrested them. In the end, they were released for being idiots, not terrorists and were suspended from school for a few days. They should be back in school today, undoubtedly hatching their next “master plan.”

“Big Willy is gonna have fun with you in the slammer.”

Obviously, the school officials didn’t realize that suspension from school when you’re 14 years old isn’t really a bad thing. One time I got suspended for “accidentally” throwing a rock through a teacher’s car window – it was the most relaxing three days I had the whole year.