Nature survival videos will tell you to curl into a ball if you’re attacked by a tiger. What you should really do is bend over backwards and kiss your ass goodbye because you’re about to be turned into tiger turds.”Rawrrr I’m gonna fuckin’ eat youuuuu!”The San Francisco Zoo has some explaining to do after a Siberian tiger escaped and ravaged a few people. One person was killed and two people were seriously injured. Police rushed into the cafeteria were the tiger was found chewing on a person and they shot it dead - the tiger, not the chew toy.Zoo officials are still trying to figure out why the tiger escaped. Isn’t that obvious? If you find a tiger in the cafeteria, it’s probably looking for some better food - the Purina Tiger Chow wasn’t doing the trick.True Fact: Tigers kill more people every year than any other animal.Useless Fact: In 2003, Roy Horn (Siegfried and Roy) was mauled by a tiger on-stage and almost bled to death in front of a sold out show. There are still no youtube videos of it… dammit.Obvious Fact: People shouldn’t fuck around with tigers.Tiger couldn’t take him wearing those pants anymore and still pretending to be straight.