On December 22, Jason Transue’s day probably went something like this:

- Wake up. Shower. Brush teeth.
- Look at self in mirror; hate everything about self.
- Cup of coffee. Newspaper. Hating life some more.
- Go to strip club.
- Lap dance and heavy drinking for 2 hours.
- Death.

Yup… Jason Transrue, 28, died in a Florida strip club after a 2 hour lap dance festival. He was reportedly drinking a lot and after 2 hours of dances, he was too wasted to stay awake so some bouncers moved him into a different room to sleep it off – at closing time when they returned to check on him, Jason had already been ushered off to receive more lap dances in heaven.

RIP Jason Transue – you didn’t have a very good tooth-to-gum ratio.

This is actually exciting news to many men in America who have practically been fantasizing about dying like that for decades.

My question is, how nasty was that stripper? If I died during a lap dance, it would have to be from somebody worse than this man.

“Have you ever heard the tale of the 80 year old snake?”

Oh, who am I kidding? I’d probably enjoy it anyway.