America’s war on drugs has been largely accepted as a total failure. Drugs are cheaper, more pure, and more available than ever before. Americans have spent trillions of dollars to fuel this “war” on its citizens rather than turning to alternative solutions such as, I dunno, LEGALIZATION.

In New Jersey, Benjamin Gordon thought it was about time to light up a nice spliff on Saturday night.

Ah, there’s nothing wrong with kicking back and enjoying a little reefer now is there? The Lakehurst Police Department would disagree with me. The police department was right next door to the house that Benjamin was in and they reportedly could smell the weed smoke outside.

Normally, I’d be like “Blah blah, you fucking idiot,” but I can’t bring myself to bash this dipfuck. Benjamin is a victim in this case; The cops next door smelled the pot outside and went over to his house and arrested the 18 year old for possession.

Arresting a person for small amount of marijuana carries a stiffer penalty in some states than a DUI. I am disgusted with our judicial system and the overcrowding over non-violent drug offenders in our prisons. It seems that Lakehurst cops must have really been bored on that Saturday to arrest a person in their own home for smoking weed. Had it only been a couple of hours later, they all would have been crowded inside Dunkin’ Donuts getting the fresh bearclaws as they come out of the oven.

I give a big ol’ Sidecarsally.com “FUCK YOU!” to any asshole that thinks there is nothing wrong with our federal laws.

Once again, this is another opportunity for me to stress the importance of legalizing stem cell research so we can eventually make thousands of Chuck Norris clones to protect our country. Handsome, kind, and merciful? I’m in.