Pregnant marine goes “missing”
posted on January 10th, 2008 by Dustin at 3:44 pm (EST) with 8 Comments
If you’re super smart like me, then you’re well aware that our government has been responsible for some shady shit. As if killing 3,000 Americans on 9/11 and blaming it on Al-Qaeda isn’t bad enough, now they’re killing pregnant women.
North Carolina sherrifs are looking for 8 month pregnant Lance Cpl. Maria Lauterbach – Her last name makes me giggle. She disappeared in mid-December, shortly before she was supposed to testify about something that she witnessed on base. If someone disappears before a trial, usually that means they’re dead. There may still be hope for the baby though!
Hey Maria, a little smile every now and then wouldn’t kill you.
When I first read this story, I wondered what an 8 month pregnant woman was doing lost in the deserts of Iraq. Surely it wouldn’t be hard to locate her, or at least her baby.
“Mom shoulda brought the SPF 60… shit’s hot out here.”
Turns out, Maria went missing from her base in North Carolina. Quite honestly, I think it should be even easier to find a newborn wandering around a heavily patrolled military base, especially with all that high tech surveillance equipment.
“Sir, I’ve got a infantile bogey spotted at 12 o’clock!”
Other recommended places to check: Tank treads and port-o-potties.
8 Comments - Leave One!
Comments
Comment from Whit
Time January 10, 2008 at 3:56 pm
Soommmeeeebooodddyyyy's been watching Loose Change! 
Good deal, at least there's somebody out there that knows the goddamn truth. I swear to god, seeing those stupid ass war ribbons on the back of mini vans is just about enough to gag me.
Comment from Davin
Time January 10, 2008 at 3:57 pm
missing pregnant chicks on military bases, and waking up to a Ron Paul sign in your front yard… there's def some weird shit going on lately!
Comment from Shaynea
Time January 10, 2008 at 5:45 pm
I hope they're ok. She's gunna be having that baby pretty soon and that'll suck without a doctor and an epaderal.. howev u spell it.. I bet benladin killed her and ate her in that cave he's hiding in.. dum dum dum!!!!!! (a little dramatic effect.. never hurt neone.)
Comment from Marisa
Time January 10, 2008 at 6:34 pm
ohh man hope you don't REALLY believe the govt was behind 9/11….anyone who believes that makes me really sad.
Comment from Rachel Reine
Time January 10, 2008 at 6:57 pm
Anyone who believes the government WASN'T behind 9/11 needs a big fat fucking wake up call. Your ignorance makes me really sad.
Comment from Rebecca
Time July 7, 2008 at 11:06 pm
HAhha, our government is up to some very shady shit 
You make me laugh. So hard.
Comment from Rebecca
Time July 7, 2008 at 11:07 pm
As in.. I agree with you. I reread that, and it sounds like I don't. Haha.
Comment from Ashley
Time January 10, 2008 at 3:54 pm
OMG hahahahahhaah that "infantile bogey" line was awesome, so funny! :tongue: