Wouldn’t it be nice to have a button you could press and whoever you were thinking about at the time would get a terrible migraine, the feeling of having their pubes ripped out by the handful, and possibly even die?

I’d like to push that button for Virginia Democrat lawmaker Lionel Spruill. In 2005, Lionel tried to pass a law that would have banned saggy pants. Thankfully, other politicians were smart enough to respond to Lionel with “LOL.” This year, Lionel thinks anyone with 3+ DUIs should driver with yellow license plates – Gee, how about if you have that many DUIs, you shouldn’t be driving at all.

Lionel Spruill, talkin’ some shit.

Mr. Spruill is kind of known as the laughing stock of bitchy lawmakers. This year, he is trying to pass a law that would ban the rubber testicles that hang from a trailer hitch. Hillbillies everywhere, all at once now, “WTF?”

Lionel, being a lawmaker does not mean that you should try to outlaw everything that annoys you. White guys that wear diamonds in their top ear cartilage piss me off – can we make that illegal too? Oh, I also don’t like churches – can we just get rid of them too? Drivers sporting testes on the rear of their vehicles would be subject to a $250 fine if caught. Luckily, none of his “laws” will ever be passed.

Other trailer hitch decorations that Lionel does not like:

Tiny Tot Trailer Hitch – baby not included.

Midget S&M Bondage Clown Trailer Hitch – Costume only. Midget not included.