Killing gay French people isn’t funny… to some people

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Pasty white Melissa Arrington of Arizona was sentenced to 10 years in prison yesterday for killing a gay, French cyclist hippie while she was driving drunk to her local drug store to pick up some chapstick. I’m just impressed that a French person could have so many hobbies!

“But my lips hurt real bad!”

People, don’t drink and drive… pull over and finish your beer first! Melissa could have originally received around four years for negligent homicide and two counts of aggravated drunk-driving. A much stiffer sentence was handed out after a recorded phone call from jail to a friend revealed Melissa laughing about her crime.

“LOL OMG i ran over a gay d00d LOL!”

Truthfully, the harsher punishment is kind of bogus. While in jail awaiting sentencing, Arrington received a phone call in which an acquaintance made an inappropriate joke that went something like this:

“Melissa, you deserve a medal and a parade for killing a fucking tree hugger, a bicyclist, and a French man all in one shot!”

Normally, that would have been a funny joke, but the timing couldn’t have been worse. In the recording, you can hear Melissa respond to the joke with a chuckle, but it was obviously one of those “it’s not really funny, but I’ll laugh so you don’t feel bad” chuckles.

The judge didn’t appreciate Melissa’s sense of humor. He gave her double prison time, just one year shy of the maximum sentence. Meanwhile, I’m sure the judge is using that same joke at every party he goes to.