Crystal meth is a wonderful drug.

I think these are teeth.

Aside from the amazing dental benefits, long-term meth use can also lead to terrific health benefits like kidney, lung, and liver damage. Not to mention the mental side effects such as hallucinations and trying to buy watches with $100 Monopoly bills.

That’s what Scott Martin, 37, did this week. High on meth, he walked into a shop and tried to buy a watch with two counterfeit $100 bills that contained a watermark of Abraham Lincoln. For those of you broke ass hoes, Abe Lincoln is on a $5 bill and Benjamin Franklin is on the $100 bill – hence the Puff Daddy song.

I gotta try whatever he was smokin’. Goddamn.

After arguing about the authenticity of the bills, the shopkeeper blasted Martin with a taser and called the police. A background check showed that Martin was already out on bond for counterfeit charges.

This isn’t the actual bill, but maybe I can start selling these to crackheads.

For giggles, check out this picture to see how meth can transform you from a loser to an ultra-mega-super-fucking loser.