I’ve come to realize a sad fact about life. That is, the older most people get, the bigger assholes they become. Nobody starts out as a regular Joe and becomes increasingly eccentric and happy as they age. People get bored with their family lives and shitty jobs, so they do the only thing that makes them feel better – bitch about insignificant things.

“Aye aye aye! I hate everything, señor!”

Remember my post about the woman mayor who was recalled for posting a fitness picture of herself wearing lingerie on her myspace profile? This next story is quite similar but even more annoying. Imagine yourself driving down the road in Pennsylvania and seeing a convenience store’s billboard advertising a fried chicken sandwich – the billboard reads, “Crispy Frickin’ Chicken.”

Isn’t your first reaction to raise a ruckus about how offensive the word “frickin’” is and that you don’t want your children exposed to such profanity? No? Congratulations, you’re not an asshole… yet.

Several people in Wisconsin have been complaining endlessly about Sheetz Incorporated’s new advertisement, claiming that it is too profane for the public. This makes about as much sense as a severely mentally retarded person trying to complain about world economics. These same people go home and watch basic cable TV shows that regularly use words like ass, bitch, dumbass, slut, and shit-fucking turd-licker (OK, not that one) – not to mention all the sexual inuendo. Meanwhile, their children are stealing cars and dealing drugs in games like Grand Theft Auto.

I wish I could just kick the entire world in the balls right now. Chances are, your child’s profanity vocabulary has far surpassed the word frickin’, and they probably learned it from you or friends at school. What is the point of wasting your time bitching about things like this when there is so many other legitimate problems in the world? It’s a good thing I didn’t design that billboard.