Being locked up in jail can have its benefits: three meals a day, nifty little slip-on shoes without laces, and bright orange jumpsuits like the ones that my favorite Japanese band wears.

Goddammit, Asians kick ass.

Being locked up can also suck, especially if your name is Adriana Torres-Flores. The 38 year old mother of three was arrested last week, among others, at a flea market for charges involving selling pirated DVDs and CDs. This doesn’t mean that the DVDs and CDs had anything to do with real pirates – it just means that they were burned or copied… the DVDs, not the pirates. Ugh, anyway.

Adriana, a long-time illegal immigrant from Mexico, discovered exactly how incompetent our court system is when she was left unattended in a 9′ x 10′ (that’s feet, not inches) jail cell for four days without food or water. The jail cell had no toilet, bed, or chairs – usually it’s used to hold prisoners for roughly an hour. She was simply forgotten about over the weekend.

Monday morning, the same bailiff who forgot her walked in to find her laying on the floor using a shoe as a pillow. His first words were most likely, “Ohhh shit,” followed by that guilty look that dogs make when you catch them chewing on your favorite dildo. “You know you’re not supposed to be playing with that!”

It seems that the only people that are speaking out about this are Adriana’s lawyers who find the lack of the court’s responsibility appalling. Everyone else is kind of passing the blame back and forth and using the word “mistake” a lot – ya think!? Tell Adriana, who survived four days without water by drinking her own piss, that you just made a “mistake.”

Apparently the mistreatment of inmates, especially Hispanics, happens a lot in Arkansas. Chalk another one up for Sidecarsally’s list of asshole states. Personally, I’d like to see a youtube video of what she did in that cell for those four long days. When I’m bored, I like to make miniature castles out of body hair and boogers.