Good ol’ Tennessee. I reckon y’all down there prolly heard about this story.

Local pastor Rev. Liston Richardson, 76, died this week in a most bizarre way – death by goat. It seems that while trying to wrestle with a family goat and get it into a pen, he became tangled up in its leash and fell to the ground. When his wife found him some time later, he was lifeless on the ground with the leash wrapped around his body. What’s the first thing everybody thought? The goat did it!

You vicious fucking murderer.

The goat apparently tried to attack the pastor’s wife when she approached it and later tried to attack medical personnel. So they killed it.

It was only after the little goat’s untimely demise that investigators deemed the reverend’s death was not goat-related at all – he had a heart attack. You goat murdering bastards.

I know what really happened. In Tennessee, a common practice known as “goat fucking” takes place very often. Richardson, a long time goat fucker, had spent years of his life preaching the word of God, only to return home for a long night of farm animal debauchery. The goat, unable to take another night of bestiality, fought back in a valiant effort until the Rev’s ticker gave out.

A local amateur wildlife photographer managed to snap this photo of the Rev’s estranged son.

Although a goat has never killed a human being before and probably never will, I think we’ve all learned a lesson from this: You mess with the goat and you get the horns.

I can totally understand how they could have mistaken this animal for a malicious beast.

Good job Tennesee! Rest in peace little goat.