About 2,000 years ago from Sunday, some Jewish dude named Jesus supposedly arose from the dead three days after some assholes crucified him for believing in a bunch of ridiculous bullshit instead of believing in their even more ridiculous bullshit.Wow, let’s all celebrate that.Easter should be about eating candy until you get diabetes and then passing out from a sugar coma while having intense hallucinogenic nightmares about a giant bunny raping you and leaving a steamy chocolate-peanut butter dump on your pillow.I try not to take part in celebrating any religious holiday, so yesterday I ate Chinese food. It was great to come back to work today and read about six crazy fuckers that disrupted a Catholic Mass yesterday in Chicago - for the sake of peace. Oh, I guess it’s OK then.The group of six (3 men and 3 women), calling themselves “Catholic Schoolgirls Against the War,” stood up in the middle of Mass and started screaming something about peace and the war in Iraq. To get attention from the church-goers, the group splattered fake blood on themselves and other parishioners until police arrived and arrested them.Among the men protesters, Napoleon Dynamite and Kanye West were apparently present. The women were a few hotties of mixed nationalities. The girl in the left appears to have a terrible meth addiction while the middle girl obviously lets a raging alcoholic cut her hair.”I wanna protest about the war, gosh!”I gawk at the lack of intelligence of these protesters. They were extremely disorganized. Let’s start by highlighting their plans from start to finish:1) Name your group “Catholic Schoolgirls Against the War” even though 50% of you are men.2) Target a room full of peaceful bible thumpers to listen to your complaints about a pointless war that gets less media attention than Britney Spears’ newest STD.3) Spray fake blood all over yourself and others as a symbol of… something.4) Get arrested and charged with felony battery and other misdemeanors.5) Read about yourself on sidecarsally and feel congratulated for being a fucking idiot.