It seems like every day I see a news story about something terrible - or creepy - happening on airplanes. If passengers aren’t dying or getting jerked off on, then pilots are accidentally discharging their firearms. I need to book a flight to visit my parents sometime soon and my list of possible airlines to choose from is decreasing every week.US Airways is next to be crossed off the list after a pilot’s handgun discharged in the cockpit this weekend while in midair. Wait, pilots have guns now? Apparently, since September 11th, pilots are allowed to take a handgun training course and be certified to carry a gun on their plane. The guns must be fitted with a trigger lock which cannot be removed until the pilot is in the cockpit with the door closed. This is obviously not a foolproof idea.”Evwyone fasten your seatbewts.”Apparently this is not just a clearcut case of idiocy - the FBI is actually going to be involved to figure out what happened. A spokesman for the Transportation Security Administration said, “There will be lots of facets of this investigation to determine the cause. They’re going to interview everyone that was involved, everyone that was aware of it.”Umm… here, let me save you guys a lot of time and money. This is the scenario:1) Pilot grows up as a mediocre student with no common sense and is a very clumsy person. He barely passes flight school.2) Pilot takes handgun training after 9/11 - he barely passes that.3) Pilot, on plane to co-pilot: “Hey check out my new piece dude. Don’t worry, it’s got a lock on - BANG!”4) Giant FBI investigation ensues.I don’t know how I feel about pilots having guns on the plane, but I do know that the dipshit responsible for letting his discharge should be fired fo sho. Luckily nobody was hurt in the incident, except for the plane.Then again, this could just be a defense tactic to warn terrorists: “Hey guys, our pilots have guns that they almost know how to use. You better watch out!”