Because of the amount of traffic to my site lately, I had to sign up for Google Analytics. It’s a nifty little tool that shows me a ton of information and statistics about my site, the traffic, visitors, page views, etc.

There’s an awesome little world map that displays where all of my readers are from and how many there are in each country, state, and city. Surprisingly, Canadians hate me apparently. Aside from a child molestor in Windsor and some lady with a cat in Toronto, Canadians generally do not visit Sidecarsally.

But what really surprised me is that I have readers in every single US state – except Montana. Not a single person out of the 950,000+ that live in Montana have ever visited my site. How can this be? Well, I did some research and found out some pretty interesting facts about Montana – mainly that it sucks balls. Here’s why:

1) The state flower is the bitterroot.

Green beans growing around a shitty white flower? Lame.

2) There are more cattle than people living in Montana.

Montana has weird looking cows, by the way.

3) 46 out of Montana’s 56 counties are considered “frontier counties” with an average population of 6 or fewer people per square mile.

This means if you get lost while hiking in a remote location, you are fucked.

4) Montana has the largest grizzly bear population in the lower 48 states.

Another reason you are fucked if you get lost while hiking.

There are also not many famous people from Montana, but there are a couple of winners:

Tera Patrick – one of the most famous female pornstars.

She’s also married to the lead singer of The Spyderz – a fucking terrible metal band.

And last but not least, Ted Kaczynski – the Unibomber.

I slightly resemble Ted because of our beards, but that’s where the similarities end.

So there you have it – Montana. Fuck this state.