With urban sprawl and overpopulation of humans becoming more and more common, it’s only natural that bizarre animal attacks are also happening more often.

A middle-school girl was sent to the hospital yesterday, bloodied, but not seriously injured after being attacked by a red-tailed hawk while on a field trip to Fenway Park in Boston.

For those of you who don’t know, Fenway Park is where the Boston Red Sox play. Too bad baseball is more boring than watching The Pottery Channel on a Saturday night with your grandma.

The hawk had built a nest in Fenway Park and was minding its own business when this little asshole girl decided to prance over to the nest and start smashing the eggs all over the place.

OK, I may have embelished that last part – I just hate making animals out to be the bad guys because I like them more than most humans. Truth be told, the girl was walking about 40 feet from the nest when the hawk flew over to her and started its aerial assault. One witness described the carnage:

“The bases were loaded and I was drinkin’ a beer. I looked over’n saw this big ass hawk drillin’ holes all in this bitch’s face like a fuckin’ jackhammer. She’s all screamin’ and shit and I’m like, ‘Hey, sit the fuck down and get your bird under control. This ain’t the fuckin’ zoo!’ I was tryin’ to watch the game.”

This attack is proof of two things: Hawks are fucking badass, and baseball fans are annoying drunk bastards.