Pretend for a second that you’re a bright 18-year-old high school student, nearly at the top of his class. You’ve never had a history of violence and never been in trouble. However, you’re greatly bothered by the fact that other guys in your school drive nice cars and have hot girlfriends.

Do you A) succeed in life, become rich and get your own supermodel girlfriend or B) plot a suicide bombing on your school?

Personally I would choose option B because I’m lazy and it’s just easier to blow shit up.

I’m actually kidding, but Ryan Schallenberger from South Carolina wasn’t when he ordered 10 pounds of ammonium nitrate via FedEx and had it shipped to his house. When the chemicals arrived, his parents called the police and Ryan was promptly arrested.

If you can’t grow a decent mustache, don’t grow one at all.

Ammonium Nitrate is what was used to explode the Federal Building in Oklahoma back in 1995. In Ryan’s room, police discovered a year-old journal detailing his plans for a suicide bombing. Ryan also had maps of the school and an audio tape that described his reason for wanting to commit a suicide bombing. The reason: He “hated life, especially rich kids with good-looking girlfriends.”

Oh, boo-fucking-hoo. Besides rich people, who doesn’t hate their life? I hate my life and it’s not even that bad. You know what I do when I’m mad at the world? I get drunk, listen to some Morrissey, and cut myself. God, some people are so emo.

Honestly though, if you had read this story and not seen his mugshot first, you’d think Ryan looked more like this:

Myyyyspaaaace!