OK, I’m going to try to make a post in 3 minutes.

Brazil’s Air Force stopped searching for a priest that disappeared on Sunday. The priest was trying to raise money to build a truckstop where truckers could sleep – and be taught the gospel.

“So I can sleep here for free, but I gotta hear about God? Fuck that.”

The priest decided to strap himself to 1,000 balloons and be carried away. His ultimate plan was to parachute from the balloons and have a bunch of people tell him how awesome he is.

He failed.

If anyone really wants to find this guy, they should start looking in the closets of every pre-teen boy in the city.