Take me out to the ball game.
Take me out to the crowd.
Buy my 7-year-old son some alcohol.
I don’t care if he vomits at all.

Christopher Ratte, a professor at the University of Michigan, has just recently been allowed to return home after he was arrested for buying his child a Mike’s Hard Lemonade at a Tigers baseball game.

He went to buy a beer for himself and asked his 7-year-son if he wanted a lemonade because he noticed a “Mike’s Lemonade” sign at the snack bar. Apparently, he didn’t know that it was an alcoholic beverage.

Nine innings later, a security guard noticed the empty bottle in the little boy’s hand and asked Chris if he knew there was alcohol in it. The guard snatched up the bottle before Chris could explain and thus began the two month legal battle over his son.

“Goddammit, this is some good shit!”

The child was placed in foster care briefly, but was allowed to return home on the condition that his father move out of the house until the case was settled.

“It’s just the simple fact that I didn’t know this brand and didn’t suspect some of the lemonade sold in ballparks are alcoholic,” says Chris.

I can relate because I always thought the “Hard” in Mike’s Hard Lemonade meant that it tastes like shit and is hard to drink.