Thanks to America’s awesome war on drugs, we have overcrowded prisons that are packed with non-violent drug offenders and people that are serving sentences for simple posession charges.

I’d say that the government has won a huge victory on April 24th by capturing Susan LeFevre, who escaped from prison 32 years ago after serving only one year of her 10-20 year drug sentence. How did she escape? She walked out of the Michigan correctional facility.

“I’m just so happy to be in jail!”

Since her escape, Susan has lived a menacing life and committed terrible crimes like getting married, having three kids, and staying out of trouble. She was living in California under the name Marie Walsh with her husband of 23 years when an anonymous caller tipped Michigan police off to her location. U.S. Marshals picked her up and she’s now in the process of being extradited back to Michigan. She’s 53-years-old now.

Susan LeFevre, violent crazed druggie bitch. Just kidding.

Susan’s husband and children had no idea of her history. To them, she was a kind and loving family woman. Now their family is threatened to be ruined by something Susan did when she was 19-years-old.

My hat goes off to the government for following procedure and showing that, no matter what, you can’t escape the long dick of the law. I hope they give Susan a tiny prison cell and make her wear one of those Hannibal masks because she’s obviously a threat to society and belongs behind bars. *cough* BULLSHIT! *cough*