Luke Skywalker died for your sins.

Did you know that there is a Jedi Church? In the 2001 census, almost 400,000 people claimed that they followed the Jedi faith and the teachings of Yoda, so somebody thought it would be a great idea to found a church of Jedi.

This is your God? Seriously?

Jedi Jonba Hehol, 36, founded the first British Jedi Church with his brother. This week, he was doing a television interview in the backyard of his home in England. Out of nowhere, a drunk man wearing a black garbage bag and Darth Vader mask hopped over Jonba’s garden fence and assaulted him with a light saber – I mean, a metal crutch.

Since Jonba is actually a hairdresser named Barney Jones, he was no match for Vader, who pummeled him in combat and then proceeded to attack the camera crew and successfully flee the scene. After the police finished laughing, they began investigating Barney’s assault claim.

Personally, I think Barney deserved it. He’s a grown man serious enough about worshiping a robotic puppet from the 70s that he actually started a church. If that’s not reason enough to have a drunken man in a garbage bag kick your ass, then I don’t know what is. Now, I’m going to go sacrifice a G.I. Joe at my Transformers shrine.