Today is going to be a day for personal updates. Reporting on all these dumbshits on a daily basis is really taking its toll on me. I find myself constantly wanting to write about all the stupid shit that I do on a daily basis and it’s really not doing much for my self esteem.

For instance, the other day I ran into a door. There was no particular reason for this accident. I just didn’t remember to open the door. There was plenty of light in the room and I could clearly see that the door was closed, I just approached it and simply walked right into it without even attempting to turn the knob.

On a positive note, something amazing happened to me on Friday night. I met Neil Patrick Harris (NPH). For those of you who don’t know who this man is, he grew up playing Doogie in the hit television show “Doogie Howser M.D.”

Little did we know that he would end up being gay.

Apparently, NPH’s boyfriend grew up 2 miles from where I did. They were both in town for a funeral and they happened to be at the bar that I randomly went to on Friday night. OK… I have a confession. I didn’t randomly go to the bar that night. The story goes like this:

My friend Adam sent me a text saying, “Come 2 Memphis Smoke. NPH is here.”

I replied, “OMFG NO WAY. Don’t play with my heart like that.”

He replied, “He’s downstairs right now.”

I texted back, “OMG <3 ON MY WAY NOW."

A few beers later, I was chatting with NPH and his boyfriend. I can’t remember his name though. When you’re chilling next to Doogie, it’s pretty much impossible to do anything but stare at his awesome face.

Before he left, I went back and handed him a piece of paper with Sidecarsally’s web address and a pencil drawing of my penis. I told him I would write a story about him, so we’ll see if he checks it out.

NPH, I don’t want to sound like a creep or anything, but you better sign my goddamn guestbook. I’ve got a full-body ninja suit and I know how to climb very tall buildings without a helicopter - there’s nowhere I can’t find you.

Me and NPH, chillin’ on a unicorn. Strictly hetero-like.