Well, it’s official – I no longer have to hear people utter the stupid fucking words, “I’m voting for Hillary.”

Hillary’s run for president is over.

I’m guessing people finally started to realize what America would be like if she actually won the election. Let’s review the possible outcomes:

1) In light of the recent fuel crisis, all cars in America would be replaced with pink horses that have names like “Sparkle” and “Cupcake.”

2) During war, America’s weapons would be replaced with princess wands and bombs would be replaced with giant speakers that blast Spice Girl songs.

3) The torch of the Statue of Liberty would be replaced with a giant tampon that would have to be changed every time it rained in New York.

These are just a few of the ridiculous things that could happen if you voted for Hillary.

So you’re a Democrat, huh? Who do you vote for now? Oh, great. Fucking Barrack Obama is still on the scene and it looks like he’s your man from now on.

But wait… Oh God, no. Instead of giving up like your average loser, Hillary is now kissing Obama’s ass so that he will allow her to be Vice President. When I read about this earlier today, I thought, “She’s going to have to lick the cracks of the entire black community to get the support she needs.”

And who better to start with than BET (Black Entertainment Television) founder Robert Johnson?

Robert says, “Well, I don’t like to confirm racial stereotypes, but it’s true. We are bigger than most white dudes.”

Hillary says, “I’ve seen it. It’s huuuuuge.”

This is just like a woman. If she can’t run the whole show, she’s at least gotta be on the scene and bickering in your ear, trying to sway your judgment. Fellas, Hillary Clinton is a dangerous woman. She possesses two deadly weapons which have been known to bring men to their knees – I’m talking about boobs and vagina.

It appears that America’s troubles are just starting.

Editor’s note: For the record, I am not sexist (any more than the next dude). But many of you do not realize that “Hillary” is actually Latin for “I will ruin this country because I’m a woman.”