This next story excites me and depresses me at the same time. On one hand, it’s an awesome fuckin’ story. On the other hand, fatfuck ugly gayboy Perez Hilton wrote about it before me.

Grrr… fuck you Perez, you piece of shit. Stick to celebrity gossip and stay the fuck out of offbeat news. I do it better.

A taste of your own medicine.

In China, a baby was recently born with an unusual spare organ protruding from his body. Normally, I’d be happy to write about anyone born with a physical deformity, but this one is just too great to be true. The kid was born with an extra dick sticking out of his back.

This kid is going to invent entirely new sexual positions.

Apparently, there is a condition where twin fetuses combat for first place inside the womb, and sometimes the loser dies and its body becomes absorbed by the other. This can cause “extra” body parts to grow on the inside or outside of the winner’s body. This is what most likely happened to the baby.

For stereotypical reasons, I’m going to call the little Chinese baby Wang (pun intended). The story of the back-penis goes like this:

Little Wang was fighting with his twin inside the womb. Wang fashioned a fleshy samurai sword out of some spare tissue from his mom’s uterus. The unfortunate twin was not skilled in the art of swordmaking, so he was killed while defending himself in vain.

Weeks later, with the rotting corpse of his brother next to him in the womb, Wang was feeling a little claustrophobic. You can imagine how terrible his mother’s vagina must have smelled during all of this.

“Man, this is sick. I gotta get rid of this body,” thought Wang.

He began the fetus-absorption process, but decided at the last minute that he wanted a trophy from his opponent.

“Hmm, I think I’ll take his penis.”

But on Wang’s tiny fetus body, he had nowhere to attach the extra cock. Since fetus brains are not developed, Wang soon forgot about the leftover penis from his twin and, in his sleep, he rolled over on top of the penis – this caused it to fuse to his back. Oops!

After Wang was born, doctors removed the penis from his back during a procedure that took three hours to complete.

Personally, I wish they would’ve just left the penis on his back so they could wait for it to become erect. Then they could lay him on his back and spin him around on top of the little boner. Classic fun!