This article is for the girls who are breastally challenged – girls with small tits.

Growing up, you probably remember reading books or hearing stories about blossoming into womanhood. These stories are lies. The first thing they say is that you’ll get your period and it’s a beautiful thing because you can have a baby. What they don’t tell you is that you’ll bleed like a slaughtered animal and act like a emotional wreck before and during your period.

Then, you’re told further lies like “one day you will wake up and notice your boobies have been growing.” What they don’t say is that some girls breasts appear to stop growing when they’re about 4-years-old. Take actress Kiera Knightly for example:

Most overweight men have larger breasts.

Before I continue, I am not a boob Nazi. I don’t care if they’re A cups or Z cups, as long as they look nice. What constitutes nice tits? I’d say a firm shape and a nipple-to-boob ratio of no more than 10%. Here is a diagram I made:

If your fun bags are nothing to brag about and you can’t afford to do anything about it, you’re in luck! Thanks to myfreeimplants.com, you can be on your way to getting FREE implants.

How does it work?

Fuck that. I’m not going to rep anyone else’s site. What have they done for me? Just kidding.

Basically, a woman can sign up for an account and post a bunch of hot pictures of herself and her tiny tits. Then, men (or lesbians) can create profiles and buy credits to give to the girls that they feel “deserve” implants. Enough credits = free boob job. You see, it’s like free money for being hot, but you can only spend it on fake tits. You could be a celebrity guest on Howard Stern in no time!

“You know how some people are addicted to crack? Well, I’m addicted to silicone.”

What do the guys get out of this? Well, they can REQUEST dirty pics and videos from the girl, but that’s about it. Needless to say, I haven’t crossed the line from “loser” to “loser who’s so pathetic, he actually takes part in this website” – yet.

Ladies, do whatever makes you happy. If your breasts really bother you, then go sign up for an account and start working on getting some titties. I don’t see any reason why not to – oh, unless you’re just fucking hideous. Implants really won’t do your face any justice.