Ahh, weddings.

Most people think of weddings as a man and a woman accepting a legal promise to make each other miserable for the rest of their lives.

The man, dressed handsomely in his tuxedo, stands at the alter with a nervous look in his eye – contemplating whether or not he really wants to fuck this one woman for the rest of his life. The woman, looking beautiful in her ridiculously over-priced wedding gown – wondering if this douchebag is the asshole that’s going to end up becoming a drunk and beating her in ten years.

Who wouldn’t want to be a part of the American dream?

The Supreme Court recently made a ruling that will forever change the way that marriage is traditionally thought of. Starting today, gay people in California can legally get married!

The most common gift at a gay wedding: Lube.

Now, when I think of weddings and honeymoons, I can think of two hairy-bush brush-cut lesbians munching rug all night in the 69 position next to a bottle of pink champagne that they will probably forcefully insert into each other.

Alternately, I can think of two sweaty dudes railing each other in the ass over a heart-shaped bed. Awesome!

This is considered a huge victory for the gays, who have been fighting the legal system for years in order to gain the right to tie the knot without having to fly to Hawaii. Who else would complain about having to go to Hawaii?

Either way, I congratulate the gay community for this huge victory. I’m sure you all will have really cute [adopted] kids.

“We’re very exthited that the Thupreme Court hath our backths.”