“Get that fucking thing out of me”
posted on June 19th, 2008 by Dustin at 2:43 pm (EST) with 13 Comments
It seemed like only yesterday when I checked the news and saw the inevitable headline “JAMIE LYNN SPEARS PREGNANT!”
The world seemed shocked by this, but that doesn’t make sense to me because anyone related to Britney Spears is most likely fucking insane and fails at life.
After being concerned about recent ultrasound pictures of the baby, doctors decided that Jamie Lynn should have a C-Section today. The “breech position” of the baby inside her womb isn’t normal and there’s a risk it could be born upside with its oxygen supply cut off – I’d say that’s the least of this kid’s problems.
“I’m Jamie Lynn’s baby. I plan on coming out of her vagina alllll wrong.”
Personally, I think this whole C-Section thing is a lie. Here’s how I imagine the conversation going between Jamie Lynn Spears and her doctor:
Doc: “Well Jamie Lynn, we need to do a C-Section. Your vaginal entrance is a large gaping hole just like your sister and mother. The baby is at risk of falling out at any time.”
JLS: “I knew something was wrong when the baby stuck his whole arm out of my pussy the other day.”
Doc: “Yes, that’s not supposed to happen in a normal pregnancy. We can either give you a C-Section, or sew up your vagina until you go into labor. Until then, you’re not going to be able to have sex with any-”
JLS: “OMG fuck that, cut it out of me.”
“And if you look to your left, you’ll see a pregnant Jamie Lynn resembling a manatee in high heels.”
Someone should take this child and raise it in a normal home so I don’t end up writing about its future mistakes in 16 years.
13 Comments - Leave One!
Comments
Comment from laurarispoli.com
Time June 19, 2008 at 3:47 pm
Aw yeah it is a real shame.
Comment from danielle
Time June 19, 2008 at 3:51 pm
HAHAHAHA
Comment from Mental Case
Time June 19, 2008 at 4:23 pm
Today the Incubs arrives, the firey underdweller is laughing. Prepare to worship the beast in the near future!!!
Comment from Shorty from myspace
Time June 19, 2008 at 4:55 pm
great story Dustin! i probably hate the Spears family more than you!! :laughing: i agree, who gives a shit that she's having a c-section? i had 2 and it wasnt reported all over the world! the Spears sisters are just stupid hoes! :laughing:
Comment from evan
Time June 19, 2008 at 6:54 pm
lol omg that conversation was epically funny
Comment from Mental Case
Time June 19, 2008 at 7:17 pm
Now that i really think of it. Scary, really, that family is screwed up. Poor kid.Hopefully the father is a little normal.I wonder if jls shaves like her sister?
Comment from Maria Concepcion Rodrigues de Jesus
Time June 19, 2008 at 11:32 pm
lawl XD
Comment from ALLYSON
Time June 19, 2008 at 11:42 pm
LMFAO omg, that's so funny. I wonder why that baby is in there wrong…cause jamie lynn is like 10 years old! XD
Comment from B
Time June 20, 2008 at 12:27 am
LOL!!!! so true, and she looks 30 not 17 god what happend to that family. :laughing:
Comment from it's me!
Time June 20, 2008 at 1:03 pm
hopefully they tied some tubes while they were in there
Comment from Kim!
Time June 22, 2008 at 2:44 am
Tee hee hee.
Comment from matt
Time June 24, 2008 at 4:21 pm
stupid little whore, its mine… the kid i mean. i got her pregnant through her ass. it made a pop noise and then she knew right away she was pregnant when my penis swelled up inside of her butt… omg, sik. se said it wasnt the first anal she had too
Comment from kara
Time June 19, 2008 at 2:48 pm
hahahahaha <3