Real men wear manties
I make a lot of posts for the ladies with helpful life advice like how to become a prostitute and how to perform a home abortion, but this post is for the dudes.
I know many of you would like to consider yourself macho guys who get hard-ons thinking about beating the shit out of some douchebag at the bar. When someone makes a joke about you being a homosexual, you get all up in arms like, “I’m not a fag, dude! I like chicks!”
What are you trying to prove?
“Rawwwwrrrrrgghhhh - Oops, I just farted LOL!”
Here’s a piece of advice: Don’t flip out if someone calls you gay and don’t rip on gay dudes for no reason. Acting like a homophobe only makes you look like you’re hiding something. Are you?
A real man should know that women aren’t impressed by tough guys with tiny dicks who think they can win the UFC. Women are impressed by sensitive dudes with nice underwear.
Yeah, that’s right - nice underwear.
You think it’s attractive to a woman when she wakes up next to you after a one-night stand and sees your whitey-tighteys on the floor, with a brown skidmarks on the front and a yellow piss stain on the back? You’ve been wearing your shit backwards, idiot!
Man, nobody wears that style of underpants anymore. It’s all about manties now. They’re like womens’ panties, but made for men. What better way to show women that you’re a sensitive man who isn’t afraid to be a little feminine sometimes? Manties (pronounced MAN-TEES) are available in many styles, like these fancy hi-cut lacy ones with bows.
A little too extravagant? I guess not everyone likes showing off. How about the embroidered briefs? Nothing screams “I’m a manly sports fan” like these.
“Let the games begin!”
So next time you’re in the market for some new underwear. Skip those boring white Hanes and get with some manties. The silk really wicks the sweat off your balls.
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Dustin @ 7:13 pm |
well what a contradiction. you left your manties with the cartoon penis design on them at my house. i'll bring them by.
Comment by it's me! — June 20, 2008 @ 7:25 pm
Pffft! like it's news to me. Lolz
Comment by Guess??? — June 20, 2008 @ 7:41 pm
Sexy!
Comment by Samantha — June 20, 2008 @ 7:52 pm
Special thanks to Aaron (at work) for introducing me to manties!
Comment by Dustin — June 20, 2008 @ 7:56 pm
Only real men wear those.
Comment by Angela — June 20, 2008 @ 9:16 pm
Picked up a pack of 12 next week, thought I was the only one. Makes me so happy its out there now and I can show them off with my pants down by my knees now. :tongue:
Comment by B — June 21, 2008 @ 1:05 am
:wassat: um, that big black guy, i guess its a guy, is fucking gross, i want that guy dead now. what the fuck is he thinking, like hes going to get laid. hes all like \”yeah, im all ripped baby\” you should see my blue twinkies, they got a six pack too.
Comment by matt — June 22, 2008 @ 12:44 pm
That would soooooo be a deal breaker. I don't care who. I could rip Johnny Depp's pants off and run away laughing if I saw those. Might just be more effective birth control than condoms. haha
Comment by Valerie Vicious — June 27, 2008 @ 9:29 pm
Omg that thing you said about the guys bashin on gay guys is soooo true! My bf refuses to meet my gay friend . . . so I refuse to give him head =] But really . . . it does make him look like he’s hiding something seriously . . . just because they like men doesn mean they like EVERY guy . . . Guys need to get over themsevles! haha Love you Dustin!
Comment by Baby — August 20, 2008 @ 12:54 pm
Hey baby! im sure i speak for a lot of guys here but I’ll meet your friend! if it means….you know!
Comment by The Guy — August 20, 2008 @ 7:45 pm
ummm…i think the black dude is an action figure
Comment by Ryan — August 20, 2008 @ 7:46 pm