Some things should just stay lost forever
posted on June 26th, 2008 by Dustin at 8:03 pm (EST) with 18 Comments
I’d like to take a minute of your time to talk about something really annoying – shutter shades.
Shitter Shades!
These pieces of shit were once popular for a short while in the 1980s, but they resurfaced when a French designer, who I’ll call Fefe LeFuckstain, customized a pair for Kanye West.
First of all, what the fuck? People need to realize that not everything from the 80’s was cool. AIDS got big in the 80’s and when Magic Johnson got it at the height of his career, you didn’t see a bunch of his fans running around trying to get AIDS too.
I look at Kanye West and think, “There’s a man with so much fame that he could wear a lettuce leotard and everyone else would start doing it too.” But then I realize that a leotard made of lettuce is fucking insane and I would never be caught in public with it on. Maybe at home when nobody’s looking, but never in public.
I’m just going to take a random myspace kid and make fun of him for a second.
Wow, congratulations. I’d give you a trophy, but I haven’t finished shitting it out yet. I wish cocks could stretch like taffy because I would strangle this kid with his own dick until his head popped off. I think a better idea would be to wear these glasses on your ass and walk backwards because you’d look less like a fuck.
I know some of you reading this are thinking, “But Dustin, I like shutter shades lol, I even own a pair!”
Don’t worry. I’m not going to disown you as a friend. Just know that every second you’re in front of me and wearing those things, I’m getting closer to picking up a hammer and smashing them all over your stupid face.
I think a lot of times, people make mistakes and don’t realize it until they look in the mirror. In this case, many of you are too busy taking myspace photos to actually see just how fucking stupid you look. If you really need a good excuse to take your shitter shades and throw them into a black hole forever, here you go:
This is what you look like. You can be ashamed of yourself now. Thanks, Paris.
18 Comments - Leave One!
Comments
Comment from Korbi Kay
Time June 26, 2008 at 8:21 pm
Finally.
Comment from danielle
Time June 26, 2008 at 8:26 pm
ooo thanks for addressing this issue!!! these things are fucking annoying not to mention hideous!!! uhh i can't believe people actually wear these….
Comment from cakeface
Time June 26, 2008 at 8:31 pm
hahahahah<3
Comment from Shelby
Time June 26, 2008 at 8:35 pm
Buwahaha, /signed :laughing:
Comment from Mental Case
Time June 26, 2008 at 8:57 pm
Next stupid thing that will resurface will be the ..Swatch Watch…Anybody here remember those fucking things? And the idea was to wear at least 3 of them. Just looking at those retarded glasses makes me puke!
Comment from devin
Time June 26, 2008 at 9:14 pm
This will be my first and last comment on the site…..I just tried some of these on like 30 minutes ago at tillys.
Comment from Angela
Time June 26, 2008 at 9:47 pm
wtf… those things are awful. just awful. don't worry. you'll never see me wearing a pair of those.
Comment from Mental Case
Time June 27, 2008 at 12:48 am
Fuck,i have to comment again.God how i REALLY HATE PARIS HILTON. Just look at that moldy uterus. And those fucking tard shades!! That useless bag of dick glue.
Comment from noelle
Time June 27, 2008 at 2:51 am
thank (all that is holy) i'm not the only one that hates these! i guess people will follow any fashion statement now a days…even if it makes them look retarded. (have you seen they have them hanging from necklaces too?)
Comment from Nikki
Time June 27, 2008 at 2:58 am
:laughing: Oh man, you are a funny one. 
Toucheeee.
Comment from matt
Time June 27, 2008 at 3:19 am
My girlfriend and i saw a pair of these the other day and i just wanted to kill the person who made the popular, i didnt know that kanye west made it cool, but what a fag… i fucking hate those things too
Comment from Kim!
Time June 27, 2008 at 4:20 am
Think of it this way: The dumbasses who wear them are 10 BILLION percent more likley to flounce off a cliff due to vision imparmanent… That and a nice juicy "friend" lodged in their butts.
Comment from Blake
Time June 27, 2008 at 12:53 pm
hi im 6 and i have never seen these before. but they look like something my butface brother would wear.
Comment from molli
Time June 27, 2008 at 9:41 pm
only bros wear stuff like this!!
Comment from Maria Concepcion Rodriguez de Jesus
Time June 28, 2008 at 2:43 am
i hate those things. -_-
Comment from B
Time June 30, 2008 at 9:36 pm
I can't saying because I can't stop laughing :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:
Comment from Alicia
Time July 1, 2008 at 2:33 pm
They were selling these allll over warped tour and everyone was wearing them too. I dont get how u can see out of them.
Comment from Elana
Time June 26, 2008 at 8:20 pm
Wow, thank you so much for this. I completely agree. There's no point in this ridiculous trend. Shutter shades are ugly. Period.