Batman strikes again
posted on July 1st, 2008 by Dustin at 7:32 pm (EST) with 10 Comments
Ahh, what a beautiful day out. The sky is entirely blue without a single cloud and it’s not too hot. It makes me want to poke fun at some tards.
The Darwin Awards were held at Six Flags in Georgia on Saturday when a 17-year-old teen from South Carolina was decapitated by the Batman roller coaster.
Asia Leeshawn Ferguson of South Carolina decided to cut out of line with his friend to get some food. While attempting to cut back into line without being noticed, they hopped over two safety fences that were clearly maked “Don’t fucking enter here, or you’ll die!”
When Asia ran under the ride, it passed overhead and… well, I guess it passed overshoulders in this case. You get the point.
How come every time I go to the amusement park, nothing sweet like this ever happens? Someone’s kid barfs on me, an old man loses his hat on a ride, but there’s never any decapitations. Even a passing goose smacking someone like Fabio in the face would suffice. Shit, I’d even pay extra to see it.
Broken nose, perfect hair.
Now, before you all cancel your trips to the amusement park, it’s important to know that this was not the ride’s fault. There is a popular saying: “Guns don’t kill, people do.” This usually holds true for rides: “Roller coasters don’t kill people, idiots get themselves killed by roller coasters.”
Wait a minute… this is the second Batman-related death at Six Flags? Back in 2002, a park worker was standing on a restricted area platform when he was kicked in the head and killed by a 14-year-old girl riding Batman (that just sounds wrong). So, maybe this ride is cursed after all. But this isn’t the diabolical Dr. Doom ride at Universal Studios, this is Batman – he only kills criminals.
I’ll bet if police searched the homes of the victims, they’d find several hundred crates of nerve gas and plans for world domination.
Good job, Batman… rollercoaster.
10 Comments - Leave One!
Comments
Comment from Mental Case
Time July 1, 2008 at 7:48 pm
Sounds like somebody REALLY wanted to give the park some head. Parks need love too!
Comment from matt
Time July 1, 2008 at 8:00 pm
I agree completely… Nothing cool happens when I go to parks either.. besides the whole 'I'm riding a rollercoaster whee' thing.
Comment from matt
Time July 1, 2008 at 8:16 pm
another story dead on, ha that dumb kid, he was like almost 18 years old, cant he clearly read a di not enter sign, i mean fuckin A, specially at an amusment park where there is fast steel moving all around your head, i aint going over no fences or signs that say not to. well maybe to smoke one or something,. My captcha to solve for this was sperb, ha, wtf man
Comment from Valerie Vicious
Time July 1, 2008 at 9:54 pm
Im so calling my ex and taking him to Six Flags. haha jk *maybe*
Comment from cardboard shell
Time July 1, 2008 at 11:11 pm
I heard in the first article I read that he was decapitated while trying to get his hat (which he lost on the ride) THAT would have been the sweetest irony ever.
Comment from Caitasaurusrex
Time July 1, 2008 at 11:24 pm
i heard from local news.. ( I live in Atl.) He had left the park and jumped the fence that runs adjacent to the parking lot. And then thought it would be a good idea to grab someones feet as they passed by..
Comment from Allyson
Time July 2, 2008 at 1:02 am
I knew Batman was a pedophile ;D Anyways, my boss told me about those two stories. People are SO FUCKING STUPID!
Comment from Blake
Time July 3, 2008 at 4:45 pm
ppl make me angry
Comment from 2dd
Time July 3, 2008 at 9:36 pm
That would be greatest superhero of all time . . . A rollercoaster out for justice. If that were true though I think you should avoid the ride because who knows what you have hidden in your basement, Dustin! Maybe you should write a screenplay.
Comment from danielle
Time July 1, 2008 at 7:40 pm
haha dumbass! those areas are marked restricted for a reason…