Sidecarsally vandalized, wants revenge
posted on July 7th, 2008 by Dustin at 6:19 pm (EST) with 14 Comments
Did everyone have a good 4th of July weekend? Just kidding, I don’t really give a shit LOL.
I knew my weekend was off to a great start when I walked outside Friday morning and noticed an alteration to my vehicle. Something in the air seemed wrong – everything was silent.
“Something is different about my car, although I can’t quite put my finger on it yet,” I thought. “Ohh, is this part supposed to be all smashed like this?”
I stood there, looking at what appeared to be the aftermath of a war between a rhinoceros and my Neon. Upon closer inspection, I noticed a giant footprint right in the middle of the dent. It was a random act of vandalism. Goddamn motherfuck.
Since then, I’ve been trying to think of a punishment fit for a douchebag who enjoys kicking peoples’ cars in the middle of the night. This person is the worst kind of asshole. Fart on my pillow, toilet paper my house, or even intentionally sprinkle some lice eggs in my hair – but never fuck with my car.
I find it ironic that I finally become the victim of vandalism and it wasn’t even from a psycho ex-girlfriend.
I filed a police report, which is totally pointless. You give a handwritten account of what happened, nobody verifies the damage, and then you receive a piece of paper that has your report number on it. That’s some serious detective work – I’m sure they’ll find the person responsible.
Right now I’m all about retribution. Murder is the only thing I can think of that would atone for the punitive damages that I have suffered because of this. Murder, or a severe anal raping. I’m not even gay, but I’ll do it.
14 Comments - Leave One!
Comments
Comment from Will
Time July 7, 2008 at 6:34 pm
OK I totally understand how pissed off you are about this and I would definitely fucking kill someone over this….but seriously….you drive a neon???
Comment from Allyson
Time July 7, 2008 at 6:35 pm
anal raping haha. damn, that sucks. maybe castration will teach them their lesson. 
Comment from Mental Case
Time July 7, 2008 at 7:20 pm
Ruger Mini-30, 7.62×39 round, chest shot, right lung,watch the pink spray. Or take it to a body shop, buff it out might work, maybe a few bucks but it will keep you out of jail and Bubbas big black arms in the shower!
Comment from Johnny
Time July 7, 2008 at 7:37 pm
"i'm not even gay, but I'll do it." excellent ending. :laughing:
Comment from Kim!
Time July 7, 2008 at 7:37 pm
Yes. Let the hate flow through you.
Comment from B
Time July 7, 2008 at 7:43 pm
Fart on my pillow, toilet paper my house, or even intentionally sprinkle some lice eggs in my hair – but never fuck with my car. AS MY 18MONTH OLD WOULD PUT IT "EEEEEEEEWWWWWW" LOL…. BUT WHAT'S EVEN FUNNIER IS THE PHRASE …I'm not even gay, but I'll do it. LMAO!
Comment from matt
Time July 7, 2008 at 10:04 pm
That is kinda funny! im so sorry, but you dont expect to find the person do you>? they are long gone on another kicking rampage… other neons and acuras of all kinds…. all i got to say is vigilante! and justice needs to be had in this sitch!>
Comment from Maria Concepcion Rodriguez de Jesus
Time July 7, 2008 at 11:34 pm
WHAT?! anal raping, you're sick bastard! 
haha
Comment from Meghan C
Time July 8, 2008 at 2:43 am
Sorry to hear about your car but it could have been worse. Like a rock could have been thrown through the window and your shit stolen (including sidecarsally's cigs) out of it.
Comment from Mental Case
Time July 8, 2008 at 10:46 am
Listen dustin. Sneak into their house while they are out, take instant photos of you cock in the lunch meat, hanging in the mayo, rubbing the helmut in the left overs and the tops of the beer cans. Mail them the picts a week later..Can you guess whos dick this is??..In your mouth sucker!
Comment from matt
Time July 8, 2008 at 5:12 pm
That shit iis hilarious Mental case, dont forget the milk carton too.
Comment from lorilei
Time July 14, 2008 at 12:55 am
I'd recommend using a strap-on. Then you're officially gay.
Comment from Sarah
Time August 18, 2008 at 5:05 pm
I drive a neon tooooo!!! =]
Comment from Rauchell.x0
Time July 7, 2008 at 6:30 pm
aw!. yeah we already talked about this.. i think murder is the answer…. or how about anal rape til their death? eeeek..