The right to remain roadkill

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Any time a fuck cops up… I mean a cop fucks up, I love writing about it. If I can get pulled over and fined $125 for not signaling during a turn, a cop can definitely be featured in sidecarsally for killing a person.

I’m going to rename Florida to FAILida because at least a third of my stories come from there, including this one.

On Sunday, officer Chad Scott was responding to a domestic disturbance at a house. As he pulled up to the residence, he noticed Angela Tanner laying in her driveway. Too bad she didn’t notice him.

Officer Scott tried to swerve and avoid her, but failed and drove directly over her body at the blazing speed of 15 mph. This is the equivalent of being stabbed to death really slow by a butter knife.

Angela was pronounced dead on the scene and the officer was placed on administrative leave to cope with the shock of killing a civilian. There’s still no explanation for why Angela was even laying in the driveway, but I think I figured it out:

The husband is a mastermind. He devised the best way to murder your wife and get off clean.

Step 1: Beat your wife until she calls 911.

Step 2: Chase her outside and whack her over the head with a sock full of sand so she passes out in the driveway.

Step 3: Conceal her body in the shadows of the driveway and wait for the cops to pull in. *SQUISH*

Step 4: Act really upset by her death, but watch with joy as medical examiners are unable to prove anything other than this was just a freak accident.

It’s like an episode of CSI. However, since this is Florida , the husband will most likely try the exact same stunt with his next wife and get busted.

Finally though, a domestic disturbance call that actually turned out to be pretty interesting!