The human body is a disgusting thing. Aside from .001% of the human population, most of us are gross and naturally unattractive. Just take a look at your average myspace photo. Most people – especially females – take 57 self-shot pictures that look exactly the same and then spend hours applying every single image filter and blur effect that Photoshop offers.
There’s a good reason why the term “myspace fatty” was coined. When you meet a myspace person in real life, it becomes painfully obvious that all of their pictures are several years old – before they got addicted to fast food and beer.
I used to talk to a girl on myspace for awhile, but when I met her, she didn’t have any fuckin’ legs! You’d think she would have mentioned that when she asked if I wanted to go on a walk . It was great though because after we had sex, I just plopped her back in the wheelchair and launched her off my porch steps and into the street where a school bus hit her.
“Help me! Help me!” Hahaha.
So anyway, back to the human body and how disgusting it is. Today’s gross human anatomy-type word is “smegma.”
smeg·ma Pronunciation[smeg-muh]
–noun
a thick, cheeselike, fatty secretion that collects beneath the foreskin or around the clitoris.
I’ll use it in a sentence:
Your mom always has a bunch of crusty smegma around her lips for some reason.
In other words, dick cheese. If you’re an uncircumcised male, you have more dick cheese than the average person and your balls probably smell like the inside of a rotting animal. Your parents made a poor decision by not letting the hospital remove your foreskin. The next time you’re with an uncircumcised guy, call him “cheesy dick.” I know I will!
| Comments (21) |
Posted by Dustin @ 7:53 pm |
My ex-boyfriend wasn't circumcised and it was the grossest,scariest thing ever! Needless to say I broke up with him after he showed me his dick!
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Comment by Wendy — July 30, 2008 @ 8:32 pm
i was reading and waiting for this to go somewhere and it just kind of is jellow a liquid or a solid?
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Comment by i love you but — July 30, 2008 @ 8:36 pm
what about fumunda? you know? fumunda yo balls?
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Comment by the girl — July 30, 2008 @ 8:39 pm
Wow. …
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Comment by Cardboard Shell — July 30, 2008 @ 8:46 pm
hum, not a word that i have heard in the medical profession, but they have so many funny words for things.
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Comment by Jessica — July 30, 2008 @ 9:08 pm
ha, that is hilarious, smegma? you're all smegmie and stuff. oh' i'll take the smegma on rye. with a side of pepto bismol…. mmmmmmmm, bismol
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Comment by matt dersam — July 30, 2008 @ 9:11 pm
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Comment by matt — July 30, 2008 @ 9:12 pm
Jello is amorphous. Smegma is not.
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Comment by helloyoho — July 30, 2008 @ 9:23 pm
Smegma is like cheesy wax and it smells like bigfoot's cock.
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Comment by Dustin — July 30, 2008 @ 9:39 pm
Ew xD All my boyfriends were jewish, thank the lord. XD
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Comment by Lucy — July 30, 2008 @ 10:25 pm
eeeew!
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Comment by cortnie — July 31, 2008 @ 12:02 am
This made me remember your "I don't like the cock" story. But now I feel like I was lied to.
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Comment by Jeremy — July 31, 2008 @ 1:16 pm
I can't help but smile at the word smegma. Someone should go into a cheese shop and ask for a hunk of creamy man smeg. That would be funny. :tongue:
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Comment by Caitasaurusrex — July 31, 2008 @ 1:36 pm
I have a small glass bottle of smegma, want to buy some?
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Comment by starry — July 31, 2008 @ 2:52 pm
so gross!!!!
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Comment by m — July 31, 2008 @ 7:04 pm
.. ew =]
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Comment by T.Coon. — July 31, 2008 @ 9:48 pm
Smegmata – When you smegma on your body wherever Jesus had it.
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Comment by Michelle — August 1, 2008 @ 4:08 pm
lol @ michelle. i love that. ew my code is CURME. i'm going to curme all over your mom.
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Comment by Dustin — August 4, 2008 @ 9:48 pm
im craving cottage cheese now
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Comment by sly — August 5, 2008 @ 4:12 am
its the mens version of gunt butter!
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Comment by ahaha — August 15, 2008 @ 5:49 pm
OMFG LMAO! Why havent I seen this one before?LOL OMG This is hilarious and disgusting!(kind of like when you crawled into bed with me that one time Dustin)HAHA j/k! Anyway,that last comment by whoever…what is gunt butter?I almost dont wanna know!lol
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Comment by amanda — October 3, 2008 @ 7:52 am