Myspace fatties and dick cheese
posted on July 30th, 2008 by Dustin at 7:53 pm (EST) with 21 Comments
The human body is a disgusting thing. Aside from .001% of the human population, most of us are gross and naturally unattractive. Just take a look at your average myspace photo. Most people – especially females – take 57 self-shot pictures that look exactly the same and then spend hours applying every single image filter and blur effect that Photoshop offers.
There’s a good reason why the term “myspace fatty” was coined. When you meet a myspace person in real life, it becomes painfully obvious that all of their pictures are several years old – before they got addicted to fast food and beer.
I used to talk to a girl on myspace for awhile, but when I met her, she didn’t have any fuckin’ legs! You’d think she would have mentioned that when she asked if I wanted to go on a walk . It was great though because after we had sex, I just plopped her back in the wheelchair and launched her off my porch steps and into the street where a school bus hit her.
“Help me! Help me!” Hahaha.
So anyway, back to the human body and how disgusting it is. Today’s gross human anatomy-type word is “smegma.”
smeg·ma Pronunciation[smeg-muh]
–noun
a thick, cheeselike, fatty secretion that collects beneath the foreskin or around the clitoris.
I’ll use it in a sentence:
Your mom always has a bunch of crusty smegma around her lips for some reason.
In other words, dick cheese. If you’re an uncircumcised male, you have more dick cheese than the average person and your balls probably smell like the inside of a rotting animal. Your parents made a poor decision by not letting the hospital remove your foreskin. The next time you’re with an uncircumcised guy, call him “cheesy dick.” I know I will!
21 Comments - Leave One!
Comments
Comment from i love you but
Time July 30, 2008 at 8:36 pm
i was reading and waiting for this to go somewhere and it just kind of is jellow a liquid or a solid?
Comment from the girl
Time July 30, 2008 at 8:39 pm
what about fumunda? you know? fumunda yo balls?
Comment from Cardboard Shell
Time July 30, 2008 at 8:46 pm
Wow. …
Comment from Jessica
Time July 30, 2008 at 9:08 pm
hum, not a word that i have heard in the medical profession, but they have so many funny words for things.
Comment from matt dersam
Time July 30, 2008 at 9:11 pm
ha, that is hilarious, smegma? you're all smegmie and stuff. oh' i'll take the smegma on rye. with a side of pepto bismol…. mmmmmmmm, bismol
Comment from matt
Time July 30, 2008 at 9:12 pm
:wassat: :tongue: :laughing: 
:angry: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying:
Comment from helloyoho
Time July 30, 2008 at 9:23 pm
Jello is amorphous. Smegma is not.
Comment from Dustin
Time July 30, 2008 at 9:39 pm
Smegma is like cheesy wax and it smells like bigfoot's cock.
Comment from Lucy
Time July 30, 2008 at 10:25 pm
Ew xD All my boyfriends were jewish, thank the lord. XD
Comment from cortnie
Time July 31, 2008 at 12:02 am
eeeew!
Comment from Jeremy
Time July 31, 2008 at 1:16 pm
This made me remember your "I don't like the cock" story. But now I feel like I was lied to.
Comment from Caitasaurusrex
Time July 31, 2008 at 1:36 pm
I can't help but smile at the word smegma. Someone should go into a cheese shop and ask for a hunk of creamy man smeg. That would be funny. :tongue:
Comment from starry
Time July 31, 2008 at 2:52 pm
I have a small glass bottle of smegma, want to buy some?
Comment from m
Time July 31, 2008 at 7:04 pm
so gross!!!!
Comment from T.Coon.
Time July 31, 2008 at 9:48 pm
.. ew =]
Comment from Michelle
Time August 1, 2008 at 4:08 pm
Smegmata – When you smegma on your body wherever Jesus had it.
Comment from Dustin
Time August 4, 2008 at 9:48 pm
lol @ michelle. i love that. ew my code is CURME. i'm going to curme all over your mom.
Comment from sly
Time August 5, 2008 at 4:12 am
im craving cottage cheese now
Comment from ahaha
Time August 15, 2008 at 5:49 pm
its the mens version of gunt butter!
Comment from amanda
Time October 3, 2008 at 7:52 am
OMFG LMAO! Why havent I seen this one before?LOL OMG This is hilarious and disgusting!(kind of like when you crawled into bed with me that one time Dustin)HAHA j/k! Anyway,that last comment by whoever…what is gunt butter?I almost dont wanna know!lol
Comment from Wendy
Time July 30, 2008 at 8:32 pm
My ex-boyfriend wasn't circumcised and it was the grossest,scariest thing ever! Needless to say I broke up with him after he showed me his dick!