Most of us have seen the movie “The 40-Year-Old Virgin.” If you haven’t, then you’re probably an asshole and shouldn’t read my website anymore. Fuck you.

Anyway, you may recognize actor Shelley Malil from the same movie. He played Haziz, one of Steve Carell’s Indian co-workers.

Malil, during his “angry smoke break” scene.

Aside from being an actor, Shelley Malil is also a complete fucking psycho. On Sunday night, neighbors heard screams coming from Malil’s ex-girlfriend’s home. The couple had been broken up for some time, but Malil was stalking her. He watched from outside as she ate dinner with another man.

“How dare that bitch,” thought Malil as he masturbated outside her window. “I’m Shelley Malil. I’m famous! Nobody dates another man after they date me. That’s a stabbin.”

And so it was. When she came out of the house, Malil pounced on her like a tiger on a prairie dog and stabbed her over twenty times. Jesus fuck, that’s a little excessive, don’t you think? If I was going to stab someone, I would only stab them like six or seven times. This guy is just plain nuts.

The ex-girlfriend lived and Malil was later arrested at a train station. He plead not guilty to charges of premeditated murder, intent to do great bodily harm, and assault with a deadly weapon.

What drives a person to commit such terrible acts? In this case, I think the actor was just pissed that his parents named him Shelley. Either way, it’s ironic that he was arrested at a train station because when he goes to prison, other convicts will be running trains on his anus every night.