Mmmm, dogs. *BONER*
New Mexico always seemed like a nice place to visit. Aside from El Paso being awarded “sweatiest city in America,” I always wanted to check out Area 51 in Roswell.
Oops, shit. El Paso is in Texas. Fuck Texas for being sweaty.
Anyway, some nasty shit has been going on at a Humane Society animal shelter in Albequerque. Workers started noticing that some of the dogs were walking funny. During some routine exams, it became apparent that a human was having inappropriate relations with a dog.
I’m not just talking about playing with a dog’s red rocket or making out with it a little bit – we all know that’s perfectly acceptable. It’s not okay, however, to sodomize a dog. Police have reported that an unknown suspect has broken into kennels four times in two months and raped dogs. The newest victim underwent a rape test, but the DNA evidence has yet to be processed. If caught, the dog fucker will be charged with bestiality and the whole court will be laughing quietly to themselves.
This story isn’t meant to draw attention to the sick bastard that violates animals though. I’m more concerned about the well-being of the animals involved. I hope the kennel didn’t just give the poor puppies milk bones and put them back in their cages. It’s important to let the dogs know that they did nothing wrong. Often times, women who are raped end up blaming themselves for the attack, and then they either become stricken with fear or they turn into giant sluts that fuck everything. I don’t want to see this happening to the dogs. Nobody likes a slutty dog.
The most interesting thing I found in the news article is that the Humane Society declined to comment on the rapes because they said “it might prevent people from adopting pets.”
That’s totally true. The first thing I want to know when looking for a pet is whether or not its has a history of being raped. There’s no way I want that kind of drama in my life.
Seriously though, I know some of you that read this site are pretty fucked up people. If this article gives you any ideas about raping dogs, please don’t. Chickens are so much tighter and you can just snap their necks and eat them when you’re done. Plus, the cops are too lazy to use a rape kit on a chicken.
| Comments (15) |
Posted by Dustin @ 4:04 pm |
ROFL!!!
Comment by Dan — August 28, 2008 @ 5:12 pm
Hahaha omg that chicken comment made me die laughing! Haha you are tooo funny =]
Comment by Baby — August 28, 2008 @ 5:14 pm
ewwwwww. the chicken comment was morbid. hahaha.
but poor doggys :[.
Comment by jessy — August 28, 2008 @ 6:31 pm
if you fuck a goose and choke it, the anus tightens as it dies.
i totally recommend it as an alternative to dog raping. who likes fucking geese anyway? i hate goddamn canadian geese.
if i had a dick i’d rape every single one i saw.
Comment by julia — August 28, 2008 @ 6:38 pm
This shits too funny.
Nice article, “Chicken Fucker”
Comment by Jim Gaudet — August 28, 2008 @ 7:10 pm
haha, wow. Really, I can\’t help but wonder what gives you the idea of violating an animal like that, you\’d have to be one lonely fellow, or maybe just a sick bastard. Better the dogs than a little kid… Just kidding?
Comment by Shena — August 28, 2008 @ 8:14 pm
Mmmm…. Yesh!
Comment by Kimbo?? — August 28, 2008 @ 8:59 pm
Thats fuckin sick. lol
and isn’t Area 51 in Nevada??
Comment by Angela — August 28, 2008 @ 9:10 pm
That’s so sick lmfao dustin, your on my page again, see how much i love your sickness
Comment by Lucy — August 28, 2008 @ 9:46 pm
who would do that to a poor dog??
thats sick they need help
Comment by elizabeth powers — August 28, 2008 @ 11:00 pm
I don’t get why there’s the need to fuck a dog, with so many freaking sluts around.
You can find some cheap ones man, I’m telling you.
But yeah, for the really cheap jews, Chickens are the way.
Comment by Camila — August 28, 2008 @ 11:34 pm
Dustin, I can only hope you’ve heard the oh-so-amusing story of Westland’s own Todd Treviso that relates to this story.
Tie up a cat and sodomize it to death? Yeah dude, only in Westland. Fucking sweet.
Comment by Phil — August 29, 2008 @ 6:45 am
i keep on wondering what the guy who did this must look like. these stories are more interesting when they have advice on what animal is better to fuck.
Comment by Dj G — August 29, 2008 @ 4:02 pm
dude…. el paso is so in texas not new mexico. just lettin you know. hahahaha
Comment by patrick hale — August 29, 2008 @ 6:09 pm
lol @ patrick.
third sentence says, “Oops, shit. El Paso is in Texas.”
how closely do you read these articles, anyway?
Comment by Dustin — September 2, 2008 @ 7:29 am