Sagging pants illegal in, yup, Florida
posted on September 18th, 2008 by Dustin at 3:59 pm (EST) with 19 Comments
As if the people in Florida weren’t out of their fucking minds already, the cops and judges in Florida are apparently gigantic assholes too. Last week, a teenager was riding his bicycle down the street when an officer noticed his pants were sagged 4 to 5 inches below his boxers.
Officer Asshat: “Well, I’ll be dipped. It’s a teenage boy doin’ that ’sag thing’ to his pants. You know, I haven’t been a colossal prick to anyone today. I think I’ll cornhole this little bastard for havin’ his ass hangin’ out. Hey boy! Didn’t your mama teach you how to wear a belt?”
“Dis is how we be wearin’ our shit now. We gangstas.”
The 17-year-old teen spent a night in jail for violating Riviera Beach’s law that bans sagging pants. Yeah, that’s right, the town has a law banning a certain fashion trend. If this happened to me, I wouldn’t even believe I was in America. Curiously, popped collar and extremely-gelled hair bans have not been put in place anywhere yet.
“I sentence you all to 10 years in prison for 1st degree douchebaggery.”
Judge Paul Moyle heard the teen’s case and declared the fashion law unconstitutional, but didn’t drop his charges.
Paul Moyle: “Well, I agree this law interferes with freedom of expression, but I’m gonna keep the charges against this kid for sagging his pants. I’ll see you on October 5th, when I sentence you for a crime I just declared unconstitutional.”
Jesus fucking shit! What the fuck is wrong with America? How can any of this seem normal to people? Congratulations Florida, for making me so angry that I couldn’t even finish a story for the first time ever.
19 Comments - Leave One!
Comments
Comment from LordAbortion
Time September 18, 2008 at 5:05 pm
WOW.
I can’t believe you can’t even finish this story!!
Does Dustin need a hug? And perhaps a trip to Hooters so you can have gargantuane boobs in your face?
America, I have had it up to HERE with your Dicketry!
FUCK EM.
Comment from Christine
Time September 18, 2008 at 5:13 pm
what. the. fuck?!
this is fucked up shit.
Comment from Nathan
Time September 18, 2008 at 5:28 pm
Why’d you name the second pitcure ‘hottiguys.jpeg’?
Comment from Kimbo??
Time September 18, 2008 at 7:37 pm
It’s all Barak “Bin Laden” Obama’s fault.
Comment from Slice
Time September 18, 2008 at 9:00 pm
I blame John “Liberal” McCain as my buddy Rush has put it.
Comment from Ryan
Time September 18, 2008 at 10:35 pm
Where the fuck did you find that fucking picture of all those fags!?!?!?! how could they ever think that all of them looking the exact same would ever get them laid? Did anyone else notice that the picture was an obvious sausage fest? Good luck boys! keep it up and you spend the rest of your life fucking each other!!!!
Comment from Ryan
Time September 18, 2008 at 10:41 pm
whats funny is i was going to post about how these fags were definitely “My new hair cut” material. Then i went to watch the video to make me feel better and HOLY SHIT!!!!! this picture is in that video!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JMOh-cul6M
fucking figures……
Comment from PapaBear SLIM
Time September 19, 2008 at 9:50 am
I hate the look, but to have a law against it?
Don’t get mad at the cop, he’s just doing his job… he doesn’t make the rules, he just enforces them (no matter how unconstitutionally stupid)
BTW, regrettably, I used to wear that look 18 years ago. According to my grandmother, when I came from Chicago to live in Louisana back in 90 or 91, I left my stamp on those hicks because every teenager down there started wearing that “droopy drawers pants” look after I left 6 months later.
So the entire South can thank me for enlightening their kids!
Speaking of fashion: Whatever happened to the low cut jeans/thong look (on the ladies)… it was trashy, but I dug it.
Comment from Baby
Time September 19, 2008 at 10:16 am
I will admit my man wears his pants like that and I think its so ugly lol but yeah I do agree going to jail for the night over it is a little rediculous!
But as for the fake tan hotties . . . dayumm!
lol jk.
Comment from tomduk
Time September 19, 2008 at 11:08 am
i agree those douches with the “im gay” haircuts should be illegalized, also instead of giving the pant saggers fines or jail time, hang there asses from a flag pole by there undies, that should stop them or give the anti-social complexes. either way who cares
Comment from Jim Gaudet
Time September 19, 2008 at 1:37 pm
1st degree douchebaggery
Exactly.
The problem with states are that they can have their own laws, and they don’t get tested unless someone goes to Supreme Court. So Stupid..
Comment from me
Time September 19, 2008 at 2:52 pm
Comment by Nathan — September 18, 2008 @ 5:28 pm:
why are you being creepy and seeing what he saves his pictures as?
creep
Comment from me
Time September 19, 2008 at 2:54 pm
oh. PS! i like how PapaBear Slim thinks he started the saggy pants revolution..
and the thong/jeans thing still goes on. it’s called ‘white trash’
Comment from PapaBear SLIM
Time September 19, 2008 at 3:48 pm
I don’t think I started it, but my Granny believes that I did.
Thong/low cut jeans on the right chick was amazing… ahhh reminiscing… excuse me, I need a lil ‘alone time’ now…
Comment from biggfredd
Time September 19, 2008 at 4:18 pm
I got an order for a toy lazer set. Buyer wanted to return it because “for that price, I thought it would come with two guns”. Nevermind that the description said ONE gun and the picture showed ONE gun.
The buyer was a CA appeals court judge. Can’t read a simple listing, and we have her enforcing our laws.
Comment from Camila
Time September 20, 2008 at 2:28 pm
Freedom fail lol
Comment from Lucy
Time September 20, 2008 at 9:43 pm
Officer Asshat
that made me pee my pants.
Comment from Johnny
Time September 18, 2008 at 4:44 pm
“to protect and serve”
or
“to fuck and be technical and shit”
If i ever met this cop or this judge…