Jeffrey Dahmer was an American Serial killer. He was convicted of murdering 17 men and boys (ages 14-36). When police finally arrested Dahmer in 1991, they found a horrific scene at his home. There were heads in the refrigerator, chopped off penises laying around, and bodies dissolving in acid. As a child, he used to murder and dissect animals. Animal torture is a classic warning sign that someone is going to be a serial killer.

Earlier this week, a 7-year-old boy scaled the security wall at an Australian zoo and murdered 13 animals. Some of the victims were fed to a 10-foot saltwater crocodile.

Psycho boy tosses a turtle!

The unnamed boy sneaked into the reptile enclosure and bludgeoned several of them to death with rocks. He then took their bodies and tossed them over a wall, where a crocodile consumed them. None of the animals were endangered, but the total damage was about $7,000. That’s about how much breast implants and a penis removal cost. I’ll bet that zookeeper’s wife is going to be pretty upset… she needed those procedures to complete her transformation!

Terri Irwin lol.

At this point, this kid is 99% likely to end up being a serial killer. He can’t be legally punished though because the Northern Territory doesn’t charge children under the age of ten with crimes. Security cameras show the boy smiling as he smashed in the brains of a 20-year-old goanna (a lizard-thing). The goanna was the zoo’s favorite lizard. The zoo may be allowed to sue the boy’s parents, but he will never be punished for the death of that beautiful goanna. Rest in peace, little goanna. Goanna, Goanna.

Goanna.

If Sidecarsally is still a website in ten years, then keep checking back because I’ll be writing about this kid again one day.

Goanna.