Chris Farley’s movie Tommy Boy may have been a hilarious fictional film, but it also had a few important lessons. The main lesson in that movie is “never go anywhere with Chris Farley,” but let’s not forget about the roadkill scene. David Spade and Chris Farley ran over a deer in the road. They put it in the back of Spade’s car and it came alive and went fucking apeshit on them.

“Holy shnikies!”

Ahh, what a great film. If you haven’t seen it, go rent it now, and then punch yourself in the throat for being a jackass.

So, from Tommy Boy, we learned to never put roadkill inside the vehicle with you. Well, Tommy Fox from Tennessee had obviously never seen that movie before. Last Wednesday night, Tommy Fox was driving home when his SUV ran over a red fox. Since Tommy is from Tennessee, his first thought was, “Man, them red fox tails sure are purty this time-a-years. Imma take this summabitch home and keep his tail fer a little trophy!”

No, seriously. He wanted to keep the fox’s tail.

“Is that a gen-u-ine fox tail?”

By now, you’ve figured out that Tommy Fox actually ran over a fox. That’s called irony. Tommy put the dead fox in the back of his SUV and started driving again. Minutes later, he heard a noise and had just enough time to turn around and see a pissed off ran-over fox biting his face off. He desperately tried to defend himself with a blanket before veering off the road and flipping his vehicle.

Fail.

Sadly, the man survived but the fox did not. It was unclear whether the fox died from its original injuries, or the ones brought on by the redneck rolling his SUV. I would say that it was a combination of both, mixed with a heart attack that occurred when fox woke up saw some ugly bastard taking him home to chop his beautiful tail off.

This guy collects fox tails and protects himself with blankets. Sounds like a real winner. Well, at least his learned his lesson: You shouldn’t drive SUVs because they guzzle gas.

Rest in peace, you magnificent beast.