Jamie Lynn Spears pregnant AGAIN?
posted on October 8th, 2008 by Dustin at 7:03 pm (EST) with 19 Comments
Today’s story should come as no surprise to anyone because it’s about Jamie Lynn Spears.
There’s no punchline for this. This bitch really does just fail.
It was rumored briefly today that Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant again after becoming a mother only three months ago. Not only that, but she is supposedly two months pregnant. This means that her already gigantic vagina didn’t even have time to close up from childbirth before some stupid fuck stuck his penis inside her again.
Slutface and the Douchenator.
The National Enquirer published the rumor in a magazine, which means that there’s a 99% chance that it’s bullshit, but you know what? I’m going to side with them anyway and spread this rumor. According to the Enquirer, a very reliable source told them, “Jamie Lynn believed she couldn’t get pregnant while she was breastfeeding. She’d expected to have her period by early September. When she didn’t, she told a family member.”
Wow. She thought she couldn’t get pregnant while she was breastfeeding? That whole idea has never been proven to be 100% accurate. That’s like loading a revolver with a single bullet, holding it to your head and saying, “It’s OK, chances are I’m not going to die if I pull the trigger once or twice.”
A story that ridiculous is more likely to be true in the case of anyone in the Spears family. I can only assume that they descended from a race of inbred superhero retards that somehow managed to evolve almost completely into normal humans and blend in with their country accents.
Jamie Lynn, what have you done?
Edit: The pregnancy claim was later rejected when TMZ.com heard from an “unimpeachable source” that Jamie Lynn is not re-pregnant.
Personally, I still think she actually is pregnant. If she’s not, then she had an abortion. I guess you can tell that I’ve lost all faith in the Spears family by now.
19 Comments - Leave One!
Comments
Comment from Irrational
Time October 8, 2008 at 7:23 pm
That stupid little bitch. I’d still fuck her!
Comment from LordAbortion
Time October 8, 2008 at 7:27 pm
Good God.
Following in the footsteps of big sister I see.
I think she’s pregnant again too.
And breastfeeding does LOWER your chance of getting pregnant, but…. after having a baby, for two years, you’re fertile as fuck.
Comment from Camila
Time October 8, 2008 at 7:27 pm
hahahaha
I love your stories
lol
I read your bulletin and was like, ” I have to read that” lol
Comment from Matu
Time October 8, 2008 at 7:48 pm
SHE NEEDS TO BE PUNCHED IN THE FACE CONTINUOUSLY if she is pregnant, and most definitely for making the news yet again!
*sigh*
If only news was ALWAYS delivered like this (penis banner && all) i would be much more obliged to give a shit! ;]
Comment from stef
Time October 8, 2008 at 8:15 pm
i am more interested in OJ’s bloated face in the top left corner of the mag…
hopefully he will be raped continuously in prison
doozer? wtf kind of captcha word is THAT!
BONER!
Comment from Lucy
Time October 8, 2008 at 10:43 pm
dude.
someone needs to kick her in the vagina
Comment from Kimbo!
Time October 8, 2008 at 10:48 pm
Yay!
Comment from steFanie
Time October 9, 2008 at 7:45 am
i already left you a comment but (and i’m not defending that moron) yeah.. you can’t get pregnant if you’re constantly breastfeeding…unless you don’t know what the hell you’re doing.
so let’s hope she doesn’t pop out another one once she gets her period again!
my word is…. duchum? .. douche..um… ok bye!
Comment from Dustin
Time October 9, 2008 at 8:01 am
I’m more or less annoyed by the fact that Jamie Lynn would actually risk having another kid by practicing the laziest form of birth control ever.
Comment from Stumbles
Time October 9, 2008 at 11:38 am
honestly, if she really is pregnant again. it really wouldnt suprise me all that much. becase shes a whore.
Comment from yepyep
Time October 9, 2008 at 1:20 pm
where are all these people gettin that you cant get pregnant while breastfeeding? that has to be the stupidest thing ive ever heard! you got some real retards on your site Dustin. lol. but you are by far the coolest MOFO ever! and i agree with you…the Spears family is weird as fuck! lmao.
Comment from tomduk
Time October 9, 2008 at 4:37 pm
i like the picture “theres no punchline. the bitch just fails”
Comment from Jordan
Time October 9, 2008 at 6:39 pm
I thought the bottom corner said that Obama was a sex offender.
Comment from scarpo
Time October 12, 2008 at 6:42 pm
is it really that hard for her to keep her legs closed? honestly.
Comment from stef
Time October 13, 2008 at 7:40 am
hey yepyep why dont you shut your fucking mouth and do some research before you talk shit.
i didnt say it was impossible for her to get pregnant while [properly] breastfeeding but it is hard and not common.
dustin you may need a 15-years-old-and-younger section for your site..
Comment from Dustin
Time October 13, 2008 at 8:10 am
i think maybe YOU need to be a little nicer to the readers on here! sidecarsally readers are not to be arguing with each other.
Comment from Vinnie
Time October 8, 2008 at 7:12 pm
God damn that bitch has a big fuckin forehead