Sidecarsally gets fired
Sometimes, I feel like someone should just write a book about my life and title it “The Awful Life and Times of Sidecarsally.”
Today has not been a good day for me. The morning started out normal; I drove to work, stopped at the gas station for a 5-Hour Energy drink, and was 3 minutes late (as usual). My boss approached me shortly after I took a seat at my cubicle - the same way I have every weekday for the past two and a half years.
“Dustin, can you please come into my office,” he said.
Now, I’ve been having this surreal feeling of impending doom for about a month now. Anxiety has placed this weird pressure on my heart and I often feel like I’m going crazy for feeling like this for no reason. Well, now that sense of doom has finally manifested itself above my head in the shape of a diarrhea-filled cloud. I was fired today, and if I don’t find a well-paying job within the next week, I am fucked.
I entered my boss’s office and he asked me to close the door. This is rarely a good thing. If your boss asks you to close the door after requesting a meeting with you, unless you’re getting a raise, it’s bad news. And that’s the first thing he said to me. He just came right out with it.
“Dustin, I’ve got some bad news. You’re fired. I’m not angry at you, but I’m disappointed. Repeatedly, I’ve asked you to work overtime, but you have only worked the minimal 40 hours week after week.”
Mind you, I’m salaried and do not get paid for overtime. There was also no real need for me to work overtime.
“OK” was literally all that I said as my brain tried to deal with the “Oh shit, ohhh shit” feeling that your body gets when you just hear something very bad. I found it unbelievable that I was fired, of all people. Only a month ago, I heard about an employee who was caught looking at porn during work hours. That person never got fired, but I did.
The real truth is that I have been working a pointless, waste-of-time job for over two years. I was a tester for a medical software company. My boss simply couldn’t justify paying the salary of a software tester anymore after our newest release was shipped. Basically, I was hired, performed my job well, and was put down like a rabid bitch when my services were no longer needed.
I really hope to continue Sidecarsally, but I could use help from everyone. As much as I’d like to say “I can get out of this all on my own,” it’s more complicated because I’m now in a position of relying on others. I’m putting a Paypal donation link at the bottom of this post. If you have a Paypal account, think of it as a one-time voluntary subscription fee that will only ever apply when I’m hopelessly desperate for money.
Even more than money, I’m interested in jobs. I’d really like to start writing for a living, so if any of you have connections that could help me land a phone interview or anything, please let me know.
Thank you all!
|
Dustin @ 11:40 am |
First of all, Holy Shit.
Second, what I get from this post is that you were essentially a guinea pig used for medical experimentation by some evil coporation. Awesome. You have went up a good 3 or 4 spots on my cool chart. Lastly, don’t count on a dime for me as I’m unemployed as shitdick. However, I can offer various sexual favors in exchange for breakfast in bed. Haha. Maybe I’ll even click a couple of your ads from time to time.
Comment by DougIsDrunk.com — October 22, 2008 @ 12:26 pm
omg Dustin! that totally sucks ass! im so sorry! if i wasnt so far in the hole as it is id help you out. you are one of the coolest fkn people alive! maybe you should go into porn! lol. you are hot enough for it! good luck finding a job. i hope you dont have to close down sidecarsally.
Comment by Bobbie — October 22, 2008 @ 1:00 pm
If Sidecar Sally Closes Down, I will personally go and assassinate your ex-boss. This totally ruined my whole day.
Comment by $terlingF — October 22, 2008 @ 1:47 pm
i don\’t KNOW this guy personally… but maybe you should contact him. His name is John Green. sparksflyup@gmail.com Just tell him how you should get started \’writing\’. He\’s written a few books. One just released the other day — i\’m reading it currently \
Comment by brittneyb — October 22, 2008 @ 1:55 pm
awww. man, that blows donkey cock, i haven’t wrote or talked to you in a couple of mos. but i hope to get backon the sidecar wagon of hilariousness, ha that isn’t a word i know. or maybe, well just cut your ex-bosses throat.
dude you want a job writing? what kind of writing? why don’t you tru a local newspaper? maybe make a comic strip, take it to the detroit freepress and demand that they pin you in for next weeks funnys. fuck i feel for you, im one of those guys who do look at porn while im at work, so i feel much worse than you could imagine. well i hope you remember me, and i hope you write me back one day soon, keep it real, and good luck out there, its tough as fuck here in michigan to find anything that pays oter than the bridge card!
Comment by matthew dersam — October 22, 2008 @ 1:58 pm
I\’m soooo sorry to hear you\’re among the unemployed!!! It sucks big wads of green snot! OK, I will keep my eyes and ears to the rail for you - I have somehow been associated with some writers and will reach out to them for advice….
Comment by Jane — October 22, 2008 @ 2:28 pm
Sorry to hear about your bad news. Your web site and diggs have given me quite a few smiles. Stick to what you are best at, writing this site and earn some dosh from it, your good enough.
Cannot offer any money as i am skint beyond you
all i can offer is this link
http://www.alphaplug.com/alphauserpoints.html
Theres money there… somewhere;-)
Comment by Teddsy — October 22, 2008 @ 2:36 pm
Keep your head up, I’ve been unemployed for almost a year and you know how hard I’ve been tryin to get a job. If you can, come out to Arizona, you can sleep on my couch when I can afford to buy one haha
Comment by Nate — October 22, 2008 @ 2:57 pm
I have nothing witty to offer… This makes me sad. I will buy you waffles and a gallon of Mrs. Butterworth’s… as long as that dickbag with blazing red cheeks doesn’t chase me down at 10pm to take pics of me on top of a giant ‘2008′ or next to a creek or some gay senior photo shit.
I have a couple good friends who work for local newspapers. I will give them a shout for you.
BTW- Is there a chance that the dude looking at porn all day was ALSO you? …
Comment by McLuckie — October 22, 2008 @ 3:15 pm
:[
hope shit works out for ya.
Comment by Christine — October 22, 2008 @ 3:35 pm
“my desire to move there is going to make me quit my job and pack my bags. If I’m ever going to lose my mind, I might as well lose it in Los Angeles”
I think you kind of jinxed yourself. unfortunately i spent my 75$ in paypal or i would donate it to you. how much do you need for another month of sidecarsally?
Comment by blackhand — October 22, 2008 @ 4:00 pm
I’m young
fuck stress
I’m sorry
fuck your boss
there’s no strikeouts on here but you get the myspace symbol haha
in his anal cavity
Comment by KACY — October 22, 2008 @ 4:06 pm
If I weren’t only “18″ and unemployed loser I’d totally… Well. No. I lie. I’d fan my cash in your face while saying “Mmmm! You like them apples, don’t you?”
And that sucks. You should go to medic school. You’d make an awsome paramedic! Like, no lie!
–You might even get to see some dead Mexican babies! :D–
Comment by Kimbo! — October 22, 2008 @ 4:38 pm
If you lived in Florida my dad could hire you in one of his buildings
…too bad you don’t :/
Comment by Lucy — October 22, 2008 @ 5:36 pm
holy crap I still can’t believe you were fired
Hope shit works out for you, this sucks.
Comment by Q — October 22, 2008 @ 5:56 pm
Check out Craigslist for writing gigs. I’m always seeing ads for political blog writers. Otherwise, check out companies like Labcorp or Quest, or if your good with panelview or VFD’s, maybe you can get a job at a factory as an engineer.
Comment by Demetrios — October 22, 2008 @ 6:25 pm
if i had the money i\’d hire you as my personal sex slave. but i don\’t, so i can\’t :[ i wish you the best of luck dustin. you\’re an incredibly talented person and SOMEONE will see that.
Comment by 34 — October 22, 2008 @ 6:40 pm
I’m so sorry about what happened - I was really sad when Stan told me. I agree that there are at *least* four people who should have been fired in that company before you were even a blip on the radar. I hate that company. I’m sorry it was under these circumstances, but I’m glad you’re free of it. I know it’s little consolation, and I’m sorry I don’t know of any jobs for you (I can’t even find one myself), but I hope that somehow, something works out for you.
Comment by SarahSki — October 22, 2008 @ 7:27 pm
omg, that sucks so bad):
but atleast you didn’t get fired in florida
my friend danielle moved there two years ago, got in a fight with a blkack girl the first week of school, then all her friends got knocked up lmao.
sorry, anyway if i hada paypal account i’d totally give you like, the only 5 dollars i own(:
but my account got delted.
idk how that can even happen?
it totally fucked up my iTunes.
well, you’ll totally find a new job. a much cooler job that one of your fans gets you because we have way better jobs than that (i used to work @ the library heheh.)
<3
Comment by Holly — October 22, 2008 @ 7:36 pm
p.s. i only mentioned a black girl because danielle’s like five foot nothing and 90 lbs
Comment by Holly — October 22, 2008 @ 7:37 pm
if you ever thought about moving to Satan’s Asshole… i mean Phoenix…i could try and get you a well paying job at my work…that sucks and i am so sorry to hear that.cheer up D. one door closes, another one opens! xoxo
Comment by marie/ preciously vicious — October 22, 2008 @ 7:42 pm
dustin, sorry to hear that bro….its a sign….move to AZ with me and bill.
Comment by Brian C — October 22, 2008 @ 8:13 pm
i’m sorry to hear that man. i wish i could help. unfortunately, i have neither reference nor cash flow. you could always try craigslist though, like demetrio said.
you deserve to make money for what you do, you’re amazing at it. it would be incredible if you got a job keeping your website. i wish you all the luck possible.
Comment by Dj, G — October 22, 2008 @ 8:41 pm
hey is you want to work at a hospital and do some techy type stuff st. joseph mercy hospital in ann arbor is hiring techy people, but they drug test so u might want to think about that?!?!
Comment by shantz — October 22, 2008 @ 10:21 pm
Oh Dustin, I’m so sorry to hear that. At least now at least you’re free to go after something you really enjoy. (Well, for all I know you might’ve enjoyed this job but it doesn’t sound particularly riveting to me. Haha) That probably doesn’t seem like much of a consolation just yet but you’ll realize it properly once you’re back on your feet.
If I can figure out paypal, I’ll try get something to you.
All the best. x
Comment by Rebekah — October 22, 2008 @ 10:35 pm
Have you thought about talking to a lawyer about filing a wrongful termination suit? Their “requests” that you work overtime don’t sound like contractual obligations to me, but IANAL.
Comment by rojo — October 23, 2008 @ 9:28 am
I am really sorry to hear that. There is no job security anymore, anywhere. Life goes how life goes. Pursue the writing and try to get publishing offers and then a agent if needed. I write too, it is a good thing that could lead somewhere for you. Best of luck and wishes my dear.
Comment by barbra ann — October 23, 2008 @ 10:51 am
Hey, i work for a medical software company too! It totally blows and i frequently think i am about to be fired at any moment. QAing is no way to spend your life man. Its good you got out while you could. Epic is a huge player in the med software industry, but they are in Wisconsin, if you dont mind moving a state over. They pay really well too. Try project management or tech support jobs instead, at least while you are writing your memoirs or getting a writing job some place.
Writing jobs that pay are tough to find.
Comment by dave — October 23, 2008 @ 4:24 pm
why does it seem like every single person that reads your site is broke? Sorry to hear you lost your job. I\’m having a hard time finding a good job myself but i have a crap job to at least buy groceries and things in the mean time. I\’ll drop you some cash. Just dont buy hookers with it! Pot\’s ok!
Comment by Ryan — October 26, 2008 @ 5:10 pm
come to think of it you should go the born again virgin route and then auction off your new found virginity on your site! Like that girl out at the bunny ranch!
Comment by Ryan — October 26, 2008 @ 5:57 pm
fuck.
i’m so sorry about this but your boss was a sucker and it might be difficult now but you’r probably better off
xx
Comment by Silk Suicide — November 6, 2008 @ 3:00 pm