I was trying to think of a recent story to write about, but no ideas were coming to me. All of a sudden, I thought, I want to know the details about the last time a bunch of hookers and pimps got busted in Tennessee.

Psh, no problem. I just headed over to Chattanooga’s local news; proudly displayed on yesterday’s front page was: Sting Nets 8 Prostitutes, 2 Pimps, Including 1 Marketing His Wife. This is big news for Tennessee. Finally, some real crime. Tennessee gets self-conscious about all those goat and chicken-fucker stereotypes.

Since it wouldn’t really be worth reporting on if I didn’t have photos of these people, let’s check out the finest whores Tennessee has to offer:

When I look at these pictures, my crotch starts itching.

And what about the pimps that exploited these beautiful ladies? Those scumbag bastards. Any one of those women could have been in the next season of America’s Top Model if it weren’t for the missing teeth and facial sores. The pimp on the left is married to one of the prostitutes that was arrested. Now, this is a man who knows how to utilize his resources.

“Bitch, it ain’t cheatin’ unless you don’t gimme my cut - 90%, hoe!”

Well, I know where I’m going next time I need a hooker. With dozens of beauties like these to choose from (and at competitive prices!), Chattanooga is becoming the new hot-spot for low-end, risky prostitution. Just avoid #6 if you’re looking for a little knob-in-mouth action… or at least wait until her cold sores go away.