A lot of people know what it’s like to have a creepy neighbor. If you don’t, then you haven’t lived next door to me yet. But I’m creepy in that awesome kind of way. Hehehe. That was supposed to be a creepy laugh.

One teenage girl who isn’t amused by the feeling of an ominous presence living next to her is Jenny Ballhair, from Sydney, Australia. I made up that name to protect her identity.

Jenny was molested by her neighbor when she was 12-years-old. The man fully served a five year prison term, but two weeks ago, he moved back into his old house next door.

Naturally, Jenny is displeased about this.

“When I’m here (at home) I stay in my room and I don’t talk to anyone. Every time I hear the front door it’s like, ‘Who’s there?’,” she said.

You know, I feel the same way whenever someone comes to my door too. One time, I was positive that an army of bloodthirsty midgets were on my porch. I hid under the bed for four days and had to drink my own urine to survive. Turns out it was just a few Girl Scouts selling cookies. Had I known that, I would’ve answered the door naked.

Mmm, yeah I’ll take a box of Tagalongs, and two boxes of Samoas.

No, but seriously, this shit is fucked. What kind of a dickass molests a kid, let alone moves back in next door after being released from prison? Are there no such thing as restraining orders in Australia?

If it were up to me, the perverted neighbor would be castrated and lobotomized before being released from prison. Psychology has shown that sex offenders are generally untreatable. Whatever kind of weird shit arouses a person cannot be changed. A man can’t force himself to give up vagina in order to start enjoying a dick sandwich just for the fuck of it. Your boner has a brain too and it’s way more powerful than the one up top.