As if Wal-Mart workers being trampled to death isn’t bad enough, I was just informed of two more deaths on Black Friday.

Two men fatally shot each other inside of a Toys “R” Us store in California around 11:30AM yesterday. Both men were standing near the check-out with their women, when a catfight erupted between the gals. Since being macho means protecting your bitch, both men pulled guns and shot each other. Picture one of those old Western movies, but inside a Toys “R” Us store.

I’d like to make a comment about the fact that women started this whole thing. But before you call me sexist, think about this: The men escalated the situation and ended up traumatizing a crowd of parents and children.

So, if women can drive men to do such insane things as firing guns in a fuckin’ toy store, just to show prove who’s got a bigger dick, doesn’t that mean women actually have ultimate control over men?

This story is further evidence that the only person who should be allowed to own a gun is me.