On Friday afternoon, all was calm in the city of Royal Oak, Michigan. A 22-year-old girl, her 17-year-old sister, and the sister’s infant were sitting around and watching television. The two family dogs – pit bulls – were laying around, probably thinking about dog stuff.

There’s never anything good on TV on Friday afternoons.

All Hell broke loose after one of the girls tripped over a dog as she got up. Both dogs attacked the sisters, causing serious injuries as they tried to flee and protect the infant. Vicious dogs love infants. I wrote a story about that back in August.

Both sisters and the infant were able to barricade themselves in separate rooms and call 911. If the call was an instant message conversation, it would have looked like this:

xxx911DispatcherGurlxxx: hey, whats ur emrgency?
x00RoyalOakHottie00x: AHHH DOGS ARE ATRTACKING US!!!
xxx911DispatcherGurlxxx: ur attracted to dogs? is this an emergncy?
x00RoyalOakHottie00x: DOGS IN HOUSE. TRYING TO KILL US. ROYAL OAK.
xxx911DispatcherGurlxxx: lol ooohhh. ok i’m sending some piggies out ur way hun. ttyl

When the police arrived, the dogs were too vicious to be snared. One dog was fatally shot and the other was tasered, but not killed. Now, the owners of the dogs that attacked them are thinking about filing a lawsuit against the police.

Frivolous lawsuits make me so angry, whenever I think about them, it feels like someone is yanking hairs off my taint while teasing me with a delicious sandwich.

It is not overreacting to fail at capturing a savage canine that almost killed three people, and then destroying it.

These people are suffering from SDOS. Selfish Dog Owner Syndrome. It’s when a person cares more about their dog than anything.

I used to live in Royal Oak. For the most part, it’s a town full of assholes. I wouldn’t be surprised if someone sued their barber for cutting their hair too short.

What would you do? Lots of children get mauled by dogs just for being curious. If you dog already shows signs of aggression, then it could only be a matter of time before your kid gets it.